( open and closed starters )

[wrists]

WHO: laurent & friends (questionable).
WHERE: here and there in stygia.
WHEN: december.
WHAT: catch-all for monthly tidings. plotting comment is here.
WARNINGS: mentions of csa and the ongoing trauma surrounding it, bloody violence, angst and general unpleasant fuckery.

Comments

disgusting... foul... spicy...

[coherer]

No ig not. Just bc I don't like hurting ppl doesn't mean I never have before. I couldn't call myself a good person, but I'm trying to be. Are you?

(bitterly, fukawa reassured jonas there was a reason why he was brought here with them.

compared to those he's met so far, he understands that his crimes might not put him on laurent's list. they're insignificant in the face of attempted murder and brother-killing. the guilt he feels for having been branded "felon" is nonetheless tied to more than just his morality. he let people down, which adds weight to his ankle that seems insurmountable. it's the anchor that keeps him from ascension, and laurent makes a salient point; how will he survive?)

ik it's definitely none of my business how you two deal with whatever blood feud you got going on, but I'm answering your questions so I think I've earned a freebie. Pony up: Do you need any help rn or are you good??

If you're messed up, it's illegal or smth for ppl who know first aid to not stop to help. You'd be putting me in a tight spot.😱

[wrists]

maybe you could have been good in your previous life, but good people don't have a place here. you either become a slave to your shadow or a whore to avoid such a fate.
goodness is irrelevant to survival.

[ and he knows which one he will end up being, because he will not find a soulmate. jonas, on the other hand, seems the type to choose to be the whore and call it love.

there is a long, measured pause. laurent knows his own limitations. he knows he is not useful in the state he is in now. this offering of kindness feels foreign, alluring. like a child reaching for a strange new toy.

but isn't this how it always begins? sasuke had shown him kindness, before. bitterness sinks like a knife into his aching flesh, the flowering branch of kindness scorched before he ever has a chance to touch it. ]

i don't require assistance, thank you.

[ then, when he thinks about getting up and feels his body locking up in protest of the mere idea — ]

but i need something small and dead. fish or mice.

[coherer]

(laurent, astute, puts jonas in the correct box.)

Wooow, those are my only 2 options? Whore, please.

(his shadow may also be tame compared to the shadows of others, but it's currently buried deep behind a wall of denial, which makes it grow stronger and more bitter by the day. fortunately, jonas actively seeks connections—wants connections—despite his skepticism of the term "soulmate."

people can feel however they like about the setup, and their opinions are all equally respectable; it's surprisingly refreshing to hear a negative take.)

I get it, though. Even if I think our definitions of whore are different, man. bc when I hit someone up to be my soulmate, I'm not gonna make a penny from that transaction and neither are they lmfao

Anyway, hmu with your/a location and I can bring by some fish. I live harbourside and my buddy's p much an angler at this point, so I don't mind at all. Cool?

[wrists]

there is no reason to take a soulmate other than survival. these bonds are not true, nor would they exist outside of these circumstances. it's simply prettier to think that love has something to do it with it. that's what i mean when i say the hierarchy would like to make whores of us all.
you both might not make gold, but it's a transaction all the same. you gain safety from your shadow.

[ and he's sorely disadvantaged in this game, because the concept of acquiring a soulmate is simply not in the cards for him. he is skilled at being duplicitous, but he lacks the simple, worldly experiences of many young men his age.

which is why the thought of telling jonas where he lives rankles. excuse u????? get out of his school ]

i can meet you by the harbors.

[ he, too, lives near the harbors, but that is Private Information. ]

i want the fish to be freshly dead. nothing old and rotting. and i want your friend's best catches, and i want them gutted and cleaned, too.

[ he has a cat to feed. ]

[coherer]

I'm with you RE: the survival part, so you're really preaching to the choir there, but love=/=whore. The bonds could be real. Like if two ppl hit it off or became buddies first, that's literally a bond that then becomes a soulmate-y thing, right??

What I don't want is somebody rooting around in my noggin and feeling all my feelings just bc I let them briefly fondle my dongles or tethers or whatever. That's an intimacy lvl ppl aren't gonna be prepared for so soon, so I wouldn't be surprised if it backfired hard for those who aren't super close before they pair up.

The whole thing is unnerving tbh.

(trepidation won't stop him from attempting to save his soul from oblivium, nor will naysayers—and he's open to labelling himself one. if he has to experience total ego death and be born again as someone good—someone better—then by god, he'll even force himself to read a fucking philosophy book.

"ascending for dummies," now available at the academy library in serene.)

P.S. "Please" and "thank you" really go a long way, but I am a strong independent man who don't need no basic human respect.

I'll be there in ~30 min. A guy showed me how to clean/gut a fish one single time, so if it looks like trash or you find a stray gizzard, then that's just the price of smth that's free ig. dwi. My kingdom for one marketable skill, am I right???

(hahahaha kill meeeee)

[wrists]

[ here's the part you're missing, you sweet summer child. love is a scam. laurent said it so it must be true. ]

do you know anyone who has forged the bond?

[ it's a scientific question. ]

thank you. i'll see you and your mediocre work in 30 minutes.

[coherer]

(huh. does he?)

Actually, I don't think I do. ig anyone could be and I wouldn't be able to tell, but I'm gonna go with "no."

(jonas makes good on his promise to laurent. there aren't many noteworthy features about him that would make him easy to spot by the harbour, but being a tall dumb-ass smoking a cigarette and holding a sloppy bag of fish may be considered a decent start. he looks lost despite having stood around in the area more times now than he can count.

his phone is addressed briefly to issue laurent a:)

In the area. I'm the guy in a beanie.

That's a hat.

(EAT YOUR HEART OUT)

[wrists]

[ laurent spies jonas immediately, because he looks like a sweet lost child holding a bag of foul-smelling goods. the whole harbor is foul-smelling, or perhaps it's just laurent's foul mood at having been roused from his hibernation to traipse around in the cold waiting on his foul-smelling goods. all for the cat he's taken in, and her freshly born kittens.

he's glad for the clarification that he is not looking for a man with beans on his head. ]

Are they clean? [ by way of greeting. laurent is dressed as he always is — severely, collar to boot covered in dark fabric with lace peeking from his cuffs and throat. it took him the entire thirty minutes to attempt to manage the complicated laces that close the sleeves and spine of his clothing, and now they're half undone, the laces trailing as he stands there with his arms crossed, assessing jonas like a criminal. his long blond hair glitters in the light, pulled hastily over one shoulder. not having anyone to attend to him has been... trying. as an afterthought — ] Hello.

[ and despite the spiny way he arranges himself, he stands gingerly, his face too pale, bandages wrapped tightly around one wrist, shadows etched beneath his crystalline blue eyes. at least the cold air is clearing his mind. ]