(it only makes him cry even more, for the first time making a sound, and it's just a sniff. he lacks to energy to explain that it wasn't exactly because he felt something towards takemichi at that moment, but more because baji's right. it's torture, and it feels like it's never going to get better, it never has. instead, it worsened more, and more, and more, and he was just tired. the idea of takemichi returning to the past to deal with this bullshit was too much to bear.
he wanted it over.
but it is something, instead of nothing as he thought. his hand reaches for the other's, and he still won't look. obviously, he's now too old and bitter to have the same relationship they've had before, it'd be wrong even for mikey, but it's comforting to hold the hand.)
You can't be around me, though, Baji. I can't control myself, and I don't want to hurt you. I'd do it and not even remember it, not even notice until it's too late. I don't want to see you.
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(it only makes him cry even more, for the first time making a sound, and it's just a sniff. he lacks to energy to explain that it wasn't exactly because he felt something towards takemichi at that moment, but more because baji's right. it's torture, and it feels like it's never going to get better, it never has. instead, it worsened more, and more, and more, and he was just tired. the idea of takemichi returning to the past to deal with this bullshit was too much to bear.
he wanted it over.
but it is something, instead of nothing as he thought. his hand reaches for the other's, and he still won't look. obviously, he's now too old and bitter to have the same relationship they've had before, it'd be wrong even for mikey, but it's comforting to hold the hand.)
You can't be around me, though, Baji. I can't control myself, and I don't want to hurt you. I'd do it and not even remember it, not even notice until it's too late. I don't want to see you.