[ mavis observes the way kaito uses the pickaxe. it's an unfamiliar tool for her. no one mines in clan lands.
no, her shadow reminds her, that's not true. kossos mines them now as they please. there are no kuruko to protect the mountains anymore.
she shakes her head softly, dislodging the thought. studying, instead, how kaito goes about it. then she tries to mimic his stance, making a sloppier strike against the barrier. ]
I wouldn't have guessed. [ she clarifies. ] Isn't it normal? [ she adjusts her grip on the pickaxe. ] Talking. [ everyone else seems to be better at it than her, so she just assumes kaito is just affable and likable. ]
Back straight. Knees bent. Your non-dominant hand should be at the base of the handle. Keep your eyes on what you want the pick to strike. ...Good. The most important thing for you is making sure you don't pull anything or hurt yourself mid-swing.
[ He corrects her while swinging away. Each instruction is succinct, but he never sounds cross or impatient. When she poses her question, he hefts the pick on his shoulder and glances her way.
His head shakes in the negative. ]
It wasn't normal for me. Not for a long time. [ He lifts his free hand. Clenches a fist until his entire arm is shaking. ] This was my mouth for many years. No one outside of my family understood me. No one wanted to understand me.
They only wanted to hurl obscenities and barbed remarks. So I learned to throw punches and kicks in return. If I hurt them enough, they would fear me, and I'd never have to worry about being hurt myself.
[ Kaito relaxes his hand and taps his chest, offering a wan smile before going back to work on the bone. ]
In a way, I was just as bad as them. I didn't want to understand anyone either. I only wanted to be left alone. People hurt. I was tired of being hurt.
Wasn't until I was a bit older that I realized how much I actually wanted to be accepted. ...And I was fortunate enough for someone to recognize that without having to be told. That person influenced who I am now. They refused to let me push them away, and I'm grateful to them for that.
[ A particularly strong overhead swing blows out a large chunk of the barrier. They're making solid progress. ]
I suppose I've become like them over the years. Now I look for people who are in need, and I offer my hand to them.
[ The empath's smile brightens. ]
...They just have to get used to my incessant talking, first.
some of it is familiar — understandable, for her. not the parts about family, but the sense of wanting to be accepted, and the appeal of finding a person who wouldn't let her push them away. he has become that in a way, hasn't he? she isn't trying to push, but she always seems to. kaito shows up anyway.
she looks away from him. back at her task. ]
It's not that bad. [ strike. ] It's easy to ignore.
[ she stops again. he is the first to say so. and it occurs to her, then, that it matters. that she cares if she is easy to get along with, that it is a valuable trait as much as a strong arm or a quick foot. ]
[ she looks down at the pickaxe in her hands. some feeling she doesn't recognize swells up in her chest, like wet pressure. she clears her throat of the tickle of flower petals.
the silence stretches as she searches for words. ]
I don't have much practice.
[ there. that's the crux of it, right? she goes back to swinging the pickaxe. ]
My family died. [ would she recognize her parents if they were here? she tries to imagine their faces, but all that comes up is their slave brands. it makes her arm itch. ] And I lived apart from the clan.
[ a feeling like a sucking void, one that she is constantly skirting around. rejection. worthlessness. they hadn't just made her a slave for some crime, they'd exiled her, treated her like she was more kossian than kuruko, even though she wanted no part of them, had no blood in common with them. it is a fluttering, fearful sense of guilt and grief. ]
[ Kaito's actually not the worst when it comes to silently listening and processing information without throwing his two cents all over the place. As Mavis explains, even in so few words, Kaito can see vivid pictures—assumptions, all of them, based off his interpretation of the emotions bleeding from her aura.
Either way, he's been seeing auras for his entire life. He has a pretty good feeling that his guesses at her emotions are at least somewhat accurate.
In the end, he doesn't stop swinging. But his eyes are firmly set on her figure. ]
I know you didn't have to share. Thank you.
If there's any silver lining in this hellscape... it's that you have time to practice some more. With me. With the rest of us.
[ she looks up at him. tightens her grip on her pickaxe. chews her lip. ]
Yeah.
[ she nods a little, finally. it had not occurred to her until now — that the things which she was missing, the life that she had not gotten to live for exile and early death, might be lived here, now. that maybe she had already begun doing just that.
she looks back down at the pickaxe, then continues her work, a little more spirited for this reminder. ]
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no subject
no, her shadow reminds her, that's not true. kossos mines them now as they please. there are no kuruko to protect the mountains anymore.
she shakes her head softly, dislodging the thought. studying, instead, how kaito goes about it. then she tries to mimic his stance, making a sloppier strike against the barrier. ]
I wouldn't have guessed. [ she clarifies. ] Isn't it normal? [ she adjusts her grip on the pickaxe. ] Talking. [ everyone else seems to be better at it than her, so she just assumes kaito is just affable and likable. ]
no subject
[ He corrects her while swinging away. Each instruction is succinct, but he never sounds cross or impatient. When she poses her question, he hefts the pick on his shoulder and glances her way.
His head shakes in the negative. ]
It wasn't normal for me. Not for a long time. [ He lifts his free hand. Clenches a fist until his entire arm is shaking. ] This was my mouth for many years. No one outside of my family understood me. No one wanted to understand me.
They only wanted to hurl obscenities and barbed remarks. So I learned to throw punches and kicks in return. If I hurt them enough, they would fear me, and I'd never have to worry about being hurt myself.
[ Kaito relaxes his hand and taps his chest, offering a wan smile before going back to work on the bone. ]
In a way, I was just as bad as them. I didn't want to understand anyone either. I only wanted to be left alone. People hurt. I was tired of being hurt.
Wasn't until I was a bit older that I realized how much I actually wanted to be accepted. ...And I was fortunate enough for someone to recognize that without having to be told. That person influenced who I am now. They refused to let me push them away, and I'm grateful to them for that.
[ A particularly strong overhead swing blows out a large chunk of the barrier. They're making solid progress. ]
I suppose I've become like them over the years. Now I look for people who are in need, and I offer my hand to them.
[ The empath's smile brightens. ]
...They just have to get used to my incessant talking, first.
no subject
some of it is familiar — understandable, for her. not the parts about family, but the sense of wanting to be accepted, and the appeal of finding a person who wouldn't let her push them away. he has become that in a way, hasn't he? she isn't trying to push, but she always seems to. kaito shows up anyway.
she looks away from him. back at her task. ]
It's not that bad. [ strike. ] It's easy to ignore.
[ #bonding ]
no subject
[ Clack. Clang! Kaito barks out a laugh, unabated, very amused. The smile he beams her way is brighter still. ]
You're easy to get along with, too.
no subject
[ she stops again. he is the first to say so. and it occurs to her, then, that it matters. that she cares if she is easy to get along with, that it is a valuable trait as much as a strong arm or a quick foot. ]
no subject
[ Not a hint of hesitation. His voice echoes with the thought resonating in his mind.
Clang! ]
I hope that's as meaningful to you as it is to me.
no subject
the silence stretches as she searches for words. ]
I don't have much practice.
[ there. that's the crux of it, right? she goes back to swinging the pickaxe. ]
My family died. [ would she recognize her parents if they were here? she tries to imagine their faces, but all that comes up is their slave brands. it makes her arm itch. ] And I lived apart from the clan.
[ a feeling like a sucking void, one that she is constantly skirting around. rejection. worthlessness. they hadn't just made her a slave for some crime, they'd exiled her, treated her like she was more kossian than kuruko, even though she wanted no part of them, had no blood in common with them. it is a fluttering, fearful sense of guilt and grief. ]
no subject
Either way, he's been seeing auras for his entire life. He has a pretty good feeling that his guesses at her emotions are at least somewhat accurate.
In the end, he doesn't stop swinging. But his eyes are firmly set on her figure. ]
I know you didn't have to share. Thank you.
If there's any silver lining in this hellscape... it's that you have time to practice some more. With me. With the rest of us.
no subject
Yeah.
[ she nods a little, finally. it had not occurred to her until now — that the things which she was missing, the life that she had not gotten to live for exile and early death, might be lived here, now. that maybe she had already begun doing just that.
she looks back down at the pickaxe, then continues her work, a little more spirited for this reminder. ]
no subject
This tightening of his chest. The swell of warmth, the dizziness.
It's a different kind of happiness than what Hibiki evokes. All the more important because of that.
I̸t̶ ̴w̵o̸n̶'̷t̴ ̴l̴a̶s̶t̶.̷
'Ah, but nothing lasts forever.'
Smiling without saying a word, Kaito returns to their task. Right now, only the clang of steel against bone can overpower the beat of his pulse. ]