Toko "Just Here for Nips" Fukawa (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
janescayre) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
logs2022-11-27 06:14 pm
janescayre) wrote in logs2022-11-27 06:14 pm
(catch-all)
WHO: Fukawa & "Friends"
WHERE: Mirth, probably Stygia and Serene too.
WHEN: Nov/December
WHAT: Quest logs, perhaps other random goings on that don't need to clog event logs.
WARNINGS: CW: talk of child murder, perverted/erotica talk, threats of murder/suicide, Danganronpa spoilers. Updated as needed!
WHERE: Mirth, probably Stygia and Serene too.
WHEN: Nov/December
WHAT: Quest logs, perhaps other random goings on that don't need to clog event logs.
WARNINGS: CW: talk of child murder, perverted/erotica talk, threats of murder/suicide, Danganronpa spoilers. Updated as needed!
CW: child murder
Wh-what do you think? [The answer is obvious. Her eyes flick to that beckoning hand and she swallows a fistful of intangible rocks. Is he serious?
Esmeralda could be back any minute. This is the only quest on the noticeboard at the moment that sounds remotely bearable, and she can't lose a chance to make what little money she can. That woman may ban her from returning if she refuses to comply now.] You — you b-better not break my fingers...
[That trembling hand settles atop his with the lightest of pressures. It's almost animalistic, a wild creature skirting around an offered treat. She's ready to yank it back at a moment's notice, her mouth set in a grim line and her eyes wide as dinner plates.]
Not always. B-but...since I was sm-small... [If there were warning signs she's lost them to time. The first kill blotted out everything and shot her nerves, and all she knows of Syo is what came after.] I was about t-ten, I think. She...
[Hoo boy. Even her lip is twitching now.]
The first boy I liked rejected me. Th-then he moved away. And I w-woke up in...in this sch-school I'd never been to.
[Fuck, is she crying now?
The cold tile still presses against her skin now and again. She feels that smooth ceramic now. The sticky splatter that coated it.]
She'd p-p-pinned him to the wall...
no subject
contrary to her expectations however, he barely curls his fingers against her hands—only enough to provide the contact that the crystals need in order to activate. even so, some sort of trigger has been pulled, a truth set into motion that's more terrible than he could've imagined.
she was ten.
he listens quietly, studying the structure of her thin hands. maybe best not look at her face when she's crying. girls don't usually like being scrutinized when they are. ]
...So you don't remember anything she does. Or at least, you're not aware of it.
[ was that what syo was planning to do to sylvain...? to anyone else toko has eyes for? ]
Do you have any way of controlling her?
[ maybe it's cruel to press these questions when the girl's clearly revisiting a traumatic experience, but sylvain is not always nice. not where his friends are potentially involved. ]
no subject
She's lost the appeal before she opened her mouth. Tears slick the edge of her cheek and chase the line of her jaw. Quickly she swipes at them, using her sleeve and replacing the hand with furtive urgency. As if he might not notice were she quick enough.]
No, I d-don't. [Remember. Sometimes it's for the best and sometimes for the worst.] I f-feel what she feels sometimes. And the same is true for her. Just...it all comes out different.
[Fukawa lowers her head. Now she doesn't want to look either. Control. It's the same question the Future Foundation had for her. She'd quivered all over then, too, emerging from hell straight into an interrogation, all while her classmates were clothed, fed, and rested on plush beds. She wouldn't be worth that dignity until she exorcized herself, and she's still waiting on that verdict.]
I — it's n-not how you think. I had a tazer. [Irrelevant. It's not here, and the purpose was to allow Syo out in short bursts as needed. He would need the context of why, and she's not sure how much time he's got to spare. Every second counts.] If I f-faint, or sneeze, we switch. Um.
[Her lip catches between her teeth. She bites it near to bleeding, raking over his face. He's still so beautiful. It's not fair. That he should have it all. That she can't have him, in any degree. That he's right to deny her everything. Everyone is.]
She hasn't done anything in years! [It spills out quick, nearly all one frantic word. Her breath comes short and another tear rolls down, but she keeps it coming. It's like someone's running a timer while she takes the stand.] N-not since I was fifteen! I swear! She might have acted unruly b-but people weren't getting hurt! It was d-different, b-b-because, b-because I had...
[What does she remember?
Gym was her worst subject. Track and field was hell. Hiding beneath the bleachers, never stepping in the pool. She thinks Maizono was the one who tugged her into a game of tennis, clapping her on the back when she scored her first point. It's hard to say. Most of those sunny days come in glitches and sputters. She's certain everyone knew each other better. Far better than they did now, the ones that were left. She'd gotten reset, rejected again, and it was only by Byakuya-sama's orders and Komaru—
Komaru.
Can I call you Toko-chan?]
Because I had people.
[Can he tell what she means? He might have to. Her whole body curls in on itself and her hair falls over thin shoulders, her glasses droop, her bones shake with how she chokes back the fit.
People were being kinder here. But god, she misses Komaru so much. It would have been better to dissolve away than to keep on like this.]
no subject
she can feel, but she can't remember. it all comes out different. (what does?) even if he knew what the purpose of a 'tazer' was, why would she willfully knock herself unconscious? ]
Guess I did find you out cold in the maze. But even a sneeze...?
[ with the severe chill lately, how many times has she switched since? and just how many people did syo kill in those five years? (an entire war can happen in that time.)
he doesn't think toko is just spinning up excuses to avoid blame—her grief and terror is quite real—he'd be blind not to see it. and he wants to sympathize with her, because he understands that sometimes the people around you are your only salvation, for better or worse. he doesn't necessarily think he's a better person than she is. (he thinks they're both monsters and cowards alike, albeit in different ways.)
he's wary, however, and his shadow limits how much good will he'll extend. ]
All right.
[ his voice is calm enough, expression relaxed. ]
Listen, Fukawa. [ nothing changes in his posture. his hands remain open, crystals slowly collecting the shared warmth of their palms. ]
I don't really care what happens to me. But if Syo tries to pull that stunt with Dimitri or Felix [ or anyone else he cares about ], we won't be having this conversation a second time.
[ he will kill her. ]
CW: implied suicidal threat
What did she expect? Mercy?
I͍̼̠t͔͍͜ w͚̦a͔̪s͖͍̼ a̝̼͉l̘̫͍w͎̝͜a̢̝͇y̘͜s͍̟͓ g̻̠̠o̢͓i̼̝͕n͉̻͖g̟͇̺ t͕̦̠o͍͖̻ e̝͙n̝͍̟d̞̙ t̻͎͜h̠̪͎i̡̞̙s͎͎̞ w̠͓̟a̡͍̠y̫͕͔.̦̻̻ Y̺̙͜o̦̪u͉͕͔ k͔̘͚n̫̼͎e͙͓͖w̟̺̘ t͎̻͕h̢̟̦a̻̼͚ț̠,̞̞͎ d͖͍͙i̢̡͚d̘̦̫n̙̼'̙̻͓ț͕̪ y̠̻̫o̠͉͕u͓̺͜?̠͍͙
He could do it. They all could. Syo is powerful but she's not something mystic. At the end of the day she's half their size with none of the training, just a flimsy vessel of blood and bone. She'd have a target on her back for the rest of her days here, and no circumstantial crisis to save her.
Her jaw goes stone stiff. The words punch out of it just the same.]
I won't let it.
[Dimitri. Felix. Sylvain. All the rest too. She's met more kindly faces here than she has in nineteen years on Earth. If this is where she makes that final slip, then she deserves whatever Sylvain sees fit to give her.]
I don't w-want to be that weak-willed girl anymore. I won't make excuses. I won't let her do anything again. I made a promise.
[Her fingers have crooked as if to claw his wrists. She flinches and flexes them again. That simmering ire shoots into the foul sneer on her lip. Maybe she looks manic, with the wet tracks and the red rage and her teeth on bitter display. Whatever. If he comes away from this still thinking she's a psychopath, then so be it. It's not up to him to decide what she is.
I͓̫͔f͕̠̝ y̟̫͓o͖̻̺u̢͕̠ c̝͔o̡̠̻u̝͍̪l̢̘̞d̪͇͉ c͉̠͜o̘̪͎n͍̼t͙͍͍r̢̼͇o̡͕̟l͚̝̦ h̡͇͔e̙̻̦r̫̝͜ y͎̠͜o̺̦͜u̻͔ w̫͍͜o̠͚͙u͓͇l̡̻̫d̪͕̫n̢͍͚'͍͇͍t͚̠͇ b̝̫̺e̫͔͖ h̻̻̫a̟̝͉v͕̦i͕̺͜n͇̦͓g͚̞͚ t̙̟̼h̡̫͙i̡͕͎s̡͍̞ c̫͖͉o̼̼͉n̡͇͎v̻͔e͇͚͙r͉͚͕s̙͍͜a͉̝̻ț̘̙i̟̟̦o̟͕͖n͕̻͖.̻͕͎
Shut the fuck up.]
And if you're t-too slow to fix it, I'll b-bite my tongue out and finish it myself!
no subject
her declaration is still preferable to her playing the vicim, sylvain thinks. maybe he doesn't harbor much trust in her, but there is a sense of appreciation that she's willing to deal with matters personally. besides, either she means what she says, or is an incredibly convincing liar. (and no offense, but sylvain doesn't really know her for her subtlety.) ]
...I'll hold you to it, then.
[ take care of it, or i will.
he doesn't say much else on the matter, just lets the crystals continue to work their magic. shifts them around in his palms like food in a pan, wondering if it might affect heat distribution. ]
no subject
Worst of all, the crystals don't feel halfway charged yet. Why can't someone else come in and finish for her? She wants to leave. She wants to never see him again.
Y̝̻̘o̞̝̦u͙͍ o͙̟u͓͚͙g͓̙h͖̻͖t̻͉̞ t̝̺̝o̙̪͜ c͍̝̫l͔̞͔a͔̝͜w̼͜ t̡͎͜h̼͉̼a͍͕t͖̼̦ s̡̠̪e͕̟͕l̪͙f̘̺͖-̝̼̙r͔̘i͓̝͍g̝͖͕h̡͉̻t͖͇̫e͎̙͇o̟͉͕u͓͓͔s̢͓͎ f͍̪͇a̢͓̻c͇͉e̼̼ o̡̙͚f̺̝̞f͙̺̝.̞̻̟
Fukawa shifts in her seat and wrenches her eyes shut. As if that could shut up the nasty little pissant riding shotgun in her head.]
So what n-now? [This dead air is cloying even to her. She has to drown out her shadow one way or another, and Esmeralda didn't even leave the radio on.] Are w-we just going to sit here seething at each other for half an hour?
no subject
[ says sylvain, who just issued a 19-yo girl a death threat...... but no, this sort of thing doesn't get blood boiling. just the opposite—he's ruthlessly cold.
he doesn't mind playing it off though, if she feels small talk would be preferable to silence. he can pretend and lie through his teeth all day. ]
Hmm. You got another quirky story to share? Like the four-hundred drunken rabbits.
[ (to think their first meeting had been so benign...) ]
no subject
Then he comes in with a sucker punch.]
D-don't make fun of me?! [If nothing else, it snaps her out of the stiff and bitter contempt. Her hands almost lift away to bury her burning face.]
Ugh! Y-you must have been laughing your head off the s-second I left! So stupid...c-can't believe I r-ran my mouth like that...should have hurled myself off a cliff instead...
no subject
Just making conversation.
[ "conversation." this is more like two hostile rats being put in a maze (of social interaction) together. that said, it is somewhat fascinating to see her unfiltered train of thought point-blank... reminds him a bit of someone else, albeit far more nihilist. ]
There's really no need to go that far...
[ fling herself off a cliff...? even sylvain wouldn't suggest that, and besides, he hadn't laughed at her in the first place. ]
I didn't notice anything strange.
no subject
Oh, I'll bet you didn't.
[Just look at him. Look at how he acts. All cool and casual, never a hair out of place, a dazzling smile with the perfect percentage of teeth. She knows his type exactly.]
You probably have idiot sluts hanging off of you d-day and night, spouting off all kinds of bullshit. What's one more moron in the mob?
no subject
Did you decide that just now?
[ there was a time sylvain probably would've held the same, savage sentiment towards women, but the way it's being framed at present rubs him the wrong way. or could be neither are them are in a good mood and are just taking everything the worst way possible... (not that it's not an awful thing to say.)
whatever the case, he's not keen on carrying out this discussion any further—it hits much too close to home, and it isn't any of toko's business who sylvain keeps in his company. ]
...Nevermind I asked. Let's just go back to "seething at each other."
[ he's so done here... (we can start a new and better thread sobbu) ]