logs | catch-all

Me?! [Fukawa squawks. She has to duck and slap at the air, being under sudden assault from an irate sprite. Seems unfair, since he's the one pruning their sacred berries.] Wh-what do you expect me to do?! Gag them with a scarf?

[She doesn't even know this guy from Adam, and he's already making demands of her. It wasn't her fault he was too stupid to look where he was going. Or even warn her, because it was definitely his ungainly bumbling that got them both in this mess. Fukawa seethes on the ground below. She does make a swat or two at the sprite, but she's always been better with verbal barbs than physical strikes.]

Are you s-sure you're not using the wrong side of the knife? [Because she wouldn't put it past him.] J-just — ugh! G-get down, stop wasting time! Let me try.

[ um, yes??? do what’cha gotta do, lady. keith, being the ever helpful dude when he’s stuck in a stubborn streak, mostly ignores her back-sass, as well as her struggles with the sprites. up until she outright insults him. having resumed sawing, he pauses and – he looks. he hates that he actually looks to make sure the teeth of the blade are angled correctly. annoyance for himself spikes and then is promptly redirected, all of it bubbling out in a sharp: ]

I know how to use a knife! [ if he had his marmora blade, this would be different. hell, if his bayard would cooperate, he’d have this thing down in a single swing. but no, he’s stuck with stolen crap, with a cracked handle and a dulling blade. at the rate of degradation of items here, he’s surprised it hasn’t disintegrated yet, honestly. ]

It’s not like there’s a trick to cutting. You just – cut. [ duh. DUH. he huffs, briefly looking away to kick at the sprite that comes too close to his boot.

disgraceful, fiend! honor the gods!

keith continues to ignore the sprite commentary. ]

So how is it gonna be any different with you holding the knife?

[In spite of his protests, it seems very apparent that he does not know how to use a knife. He even checks which side he's using? God, could he be any more thick?

Fukawa glowers as his efforts continue to come to naught, her patience thinning to an anemic trickle.]

It'll b-be different because it's not you. [Clearly. She wonders, though, if maybe the knife itself is the problem. Most items degraded quickly, so it could have been dulled to defectiveness. Ordinarily she wouldn't dream of employing Syo's scissors at at time like this, but also, her maidenly honor is on the line. She can't kiss this guy. This total nothing of a stranger! This — this wet sack of dead leaves! He's got no brains and a shitty attitude, even if his face was passable. If you squinted. It would be betraying her undying devotion to Byakuya-sama, which is complete and total ~~and definitely not wavering thanks to the influx of bishounen boys~~.

So. It's an emergency, and it's time she did something about it.]

Just get down already.

[Fukawa twists away a moment, all the better to mask how she has to reach beneath her skirt to pull out a pair. She doesn't know what Syo's done or whether she had anything to do with it at all, but four out of however many pairs she's scavenged have not taken one scratch. They're as solid as the real deal, while the others are beginning to rust. She hopes they're not soul-forged, but...

Fukawa turns back, one imposing pair threaded over her knuckles. It gleams with surgical sharpness, and if he's the type to notice he can tell the blades have been sharpened on both sides.]

I'll t-try my own way.

[ ah. so the answer here is this: she will not be holding the knife. ever the efficinato of blades, keith is, unsurprisingly, drawn to the gleam of those sharpened edges. got a nice pair there, miss. still, reluctance has him stalling on the hop down and he lingers, another beat longer, there on his barrel. that one pesky sprite circles his feet again, earning another shift of keith’s boot in a half-hearted kick. inevitably, he concedes with a sigh. too bad his voice doesn’t match that decibel. ]

Fine! [ granted, keith has a habit of going hot-headed, but yelling…? ] Knock yourself out!

[ one hop from barrel to crate and then another from crate to ground, keith pauses, narrowing his gaze before slowly straightening the bend of his knees. why is his voice coming out like… – abruptly, he rounds on the sprite that’s sitting on the barrel, grinning wide and waving tiny fingers his way.

keith is no stranger to sprites and their curses. it doesn’t take much to put two and two together. sighing louder this time, keith tosses this useless knife on the crate and turns to the woman. ]

Cut it down or rip it down, I don’t care! [ annnnd cue him tightly crossing his arms, glowering where he stands. ] Annihilate that thing!

[Fukawa squawks. They're not even five feet apart, what is the need for shouting here?]

Don't y-yell at me!

[Asshole.

When he jumps off she clambers on, praying that the stack of wooden offal won't collapse in a spectacular show of Murphy's Law. For once luck is on her side. She makes it to the top without so much as a scrape or slip. Now, to take care of this disgusting weed.

She slides the scissors under the leaves. Pinches the handles. The wooden rafter it clings to is instantly marred (how does Syo not slice herself open on these?), but the plant itself? Tough as steel.]

Huh?

[She tries again. Splinters fall loose, and not one leaf.]

Wh-what is going—

[♪EVERYBOOOOOODAAAAAYYY♫]

GAH!!

[She does fall then, as if blasted backwards by the booming tune in her ears. And directly at the bottom of her arc of descent is one Keith Akira Kogane.

All the while, the serenade carries on.

♫ROCK YOUR BOOOOOODAAAAAAAY

(yeee-aaaaah)♪]

[ LOOK, he can’t help it that he’s yelling?? truthfully, the immature part of him does glean the slightest bit of satisfaction out of her failing to cut the mistletoe. ha, see, it’s not so simple. but, that upwelling of vindication is short-lived. her failing is ultimately a bad thing because mistletoe and sprites and curses and…

even distracted with slow-spiraling horror, keith has aqequate enough reflexes to stick out his arms. they fill with a tumbling person in the next moment. she’s light enough that his knees only bend a little to absorb some of the impact; other than that, he stays mostly upright.

staring down at her, he raises a brow, looking altogether unimpressed. ]

You sure you weren’t using the scissors wrong?! [ sometimes, he is petty. but, uh, sorry for basically yelling in your face? it should also be noted, that their sprite friends are overly delighted by their sudden proximity, the two doing swoops and drops mid-air as they begin to chant together: kiss, kiss, kiss.

frustrated and distracted by them, keith completely overlooks his cue to put fukawa down. ]

Any other ideas?!

[ aside from, y’know, the obvious. ]

[This is an outrage. In the arms of a strange man being egged on to kiss by flying Kewpie dolls. Also, she's pretty sure he's insulting her. Kind of hard to hear over the OOOH-OOH-OOH-OOH ♪ in her head.]

Sh-shut up! It's b-bewitched, obviously! [She scrambles, not unlike a cat trying to dodge a bath. Her face has bloomed red and she is not taking note of how even this brief contact does more to warm her than the four layers she's packed on to spite the weather. Forget it! He's stupid! Not her type at all! What's with that mullet?

And she would never betray Byakuya-sama for someone so petty.

Once she's on the ground she squints at him. He's said something again. Even when yelling, he can't beat the boy band groove thumping in her brain.]

WHAT?

[OH MY GOD, WE'RE BACK AGAIN ♫

She winces and slams her mittens over her ears.]

M-make it stop! Where's that racket coming from?!

[ keith fights her as she scrambles about. sounds like a dick move, right? WELL, he’s not a dick. a dick would simply release and drop, to let her fall on her squirmy ass. keith gets her on her feet instead and once she’s steady, he backs up one, no two steps. two, to be on the safe side.

he has no idea what she’s yelling about, but it’s annoying – thinks the boy who is stuck in a yelling fit himself. at least he has a sort-of explanation at the ready. ]

Them!! [ to accentuate the accusation, he throws a very stern, very pointed pointy finger at the sprites who are still spinning about in the air. ] They cursed us!!

[ the giggling starts – TEEHEE, and how creepy is that?? – and then they are talking one after the other, one decidedly more sing-songy.

those who forsake the gods must pay.
forsakers, forsakers~
tribute to the gods will set you free.
set you free, set you free~

is keith’s eye twitching? it’s twitching, isn’t it? is this another curse placed upon him? ]

No way! I’m not performing for you creeps!

[His volume finally punctures the funky grooves, only to tell her what she already knew. It had to be them. The sprites. They were the culprits!]

Th-those scheming pipsqueaks, [She growls. They're singing something at them, but they have to compete with the Backstreet Boys at the peak of their careers, and that's no mean feat.] Shut up, will you?!

[She scoops up a handful of snow and lobs it at them. She misses by three feet. God.

We're gonna bring the flavour, show you how
Got a question for you better answer no-oow, yeah yeah ♪]

Enough!

[Her tiny hands snarl into the front of Keith's coat. Her scowl is legendary, their eyes twitch in terrible synchronicity.]

I am not listening t-to this garbage pop music for the rest of my life j-just because of you! ["Life" is a flexible term. She has no idea how long this will last, or how many sprigs have been laid up all over town, but she's seen enough to know they're in a minefield. Deep in enemy territory. There is no escape.] You b-better fix this! Right now! Or else!

[ she’s earning keith points; highly valuable things to have. see, he greatly approves of her going on the offensive. he’s mentally cheering her on through that first scoop of snow; he’s even got a sharp, twisted grin going, look! actually, don’t look, because apparently she needs massive help in her aim. she misses by a lot and keith’s favor deflates as spectacularly at that wasted snowball.

ah, fuck.

granted, he could scoop up his own bit of snow and show this chick how it’s done, but said chick is now grabbing at him and woah, how is this his fault!! ]

Me?!

[ so now they’re both yelling, both scowling, both eye twitching; this level of synchronization is rather impressive. keith breaks their mirroring, however, to grasp at her hands instead of shaking her by her coat. he pinches, hard, at her palms, wanting to force those fingers to lose strength.

there’s a combined oooooooh off to the side. ]

Or else what!? [ HOW ORIGINAL. ] Can’t be worse than having to kiss you!!

[Can't believe she already lost all the keith points she's earned? This is too difficult, going to find a different s-link to level up.

But first:]

L-let go of me! Pervert! [It's different when she's the one getting grabbed. Fukawa's twisting her wrists, wresting loose with a grunt of fury. The sprites are supremely disappointed.] You th-think I want to kiss anyone?! Least of all you?

[She steps back with a tight huff. The song is still blaring in her ears but she grits her teeth and bears it through. So obnoxious. So vulgar! So infuriatingly catchy.]

Th-this place is hell enough already without some stupid c-curse making it worse. And in case you haven't noticed, this mistletoe crap is spreading faster than well-watered bamboo. There is no escape. So j-just—

[Her hands flap in impotent fury.]

Just g-get this over with already!

catch-all

slams into this kool-aid man style

OH YEAH, OH YEAAAAAAH

drinks self

self-quenching thirst. efficient.

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