(catchall / open)

[paraselenes]

WHO: dimitri & others
WHERE: misc.
WHEN: november!
WHAT: event stuff, etc! feel free to ask me for a starter over at my plotting comment, or just wildcard me whatever, i love wildcards
WARNINGS: will update as necessary

November Event & Tasks outside catch-all

• w/Childe
  
• w/Augustine
  
• w/Lottie
  
• w/Felix
  
• w/Fukawa
  
• w/Joonghyuk
  
• w/D

Comments

[paraselenes]

[ The shift is sudden, and alarming. Where there was a concerning stillness to her, there's now a rush of terror to fill the void. He's not sure how to read or steady her.

Because he really hadn't planned on escaping for himself; whether to punish himself for his actions in life, or for the ones here, it didn't matter. Her reaction hits him with a helpless little sting of guilt for his thoughts, and after a moment, he reaches out to grip her shoulder, his hand steady even if the gesture is uncertain. ]

...I'm sorry. It wasn't my intent to say that I would leave you. If it eases you, I can swear that I will not.

[ He's quiet then, trying to work through what he wants to say. Being so clumsy with words is a nightmare. ]

What I mean is... you should prioritize your safety. If you see an opportunity to run, then I will clear your path. If an opening does not appear, then we will make one. And if we escape, and are to be recaptured—you could tell the guards that I coerced you into fleeing with me.

[ All he means is that it's more important that she escapes than he does. Even from a practical perspective, he'd stand a better chance on his own than she would. But mostly—he's worried. She already seems to be strained here, wilting like a flower away from the sun. ]

[appeale]

[ as soon as his hand touches her shoulder, she lays her own atop it, weakly prying him away only so she can clasp the hand in both of hers. this is the priority. there are no consequences that matter right now: if she has to cling to him, or cry with all her heart, or plead on hands and knees, then she will, until she's well clear of danger. when Dimitri later abandons her for behaving like a needy child, it will still have been a worthwhile use of her lifeline. ]

S... Sorry. [ she hiccups, genuine and involuntary, a useless fear response she's never been able to overcome. ] Just, I'm really scared... If I'm alone, I don't think I'll make it.

[ the steadiness of Dimitri's words and the sincerity with which he explains himself does seem to have calmed Rudbeckia some—that sharp edge of desperation is blunted, her gaze still fearful but no longer looking at him as though he's condemned her to death. ]

And if we get caught... I'm not going to betray you. [ her grip on his hand squeezes tight. ] It's okay if they punish me. I'll be fine.

[ this is not the dismissiveness of bravado, or even a false reassurance said to placate; it is the plain delivery of a factual statement. ]

[paraselenes]

[ Fear is a natural response; he's had it trained out of him, but he doesn't regard that as the norm. She's been imprisoned, branded, and left completely in the dark—of course she would be afraid.

So he'll stay with her. That isn't a problem. But even as she squeezes his hand, he shakes his head. ]

No. [ He says this firmly, a princely edge of authority sneaking out. ] I want your safety, not your loyalty.

[ He won't claim to be a saint; of course betrayal stings, and when he was younger, it would outright burn. But fealty comes at a cost he never wants to pay. She could use him as a weapon, a shield, a distraction—whatever it takes, and he wouldn't flinch.

Then, more quietly, ]

...Even if you are fine with being punished, understand that I am not. If you do, then I will help you escape this place.

[ For all he cares for the risk, they could leave right this instant. ]

[appeale]

[ that isn't true. sure, he probably doesn't want her to die, not in a situation where it would feel like his responsibility; that's the exact sentiment she gambles so much of her survival on, after all. but if it were that simple, she would never have had to struggle so desperately. safety is always, always conditional. somewhere, there is a line, and once she crosses it, even this hand she's holding will turn to violence.

it doesn't matter. all he wants is reassurance—it doesn't need to be true. ]

I understand. I'll keep myself safe. If I can escape, then I won't look back.

[ there is a blank obedience to her tone. her gaze lowers to his hand clasped between her own, and she releases it to instead, gently, link her pinky finger with his. ]

But I'm counting on you to keep me safe too, so... please don't put yourself at risk either.