[closed] you give me hell but i'll make it

[chokuto]

WHO: Team Seven kakashi who
WHERE: Mainly the Gallows, Shadowlands, misc other areas
WHEN: Early to Mid November
WHAT: Sasuke went to jail (shocking), Naruto and Sakura bust him out; later, Sasuke and Naruto reconvene to have a very necessary conversation
WARNINGS: Event-specific CWs including blood, branding, captivity, violence

Comments

[acknowledgement]

[One by one, the shining stars sewn into the seam of his soul begin to flicker and diminish as Sasuke speaks. Their deaths reflect in his too open expression like scenes from a series of paintings—blank confusion, creeping dread, and finally a deep, crestfallen hurt worn as if he were slapped. The proposal is framed upon the crux of Naruto being both weak and dangerous, accusations he would have brushed dismissively if not for the person uttering them. He’s gutted. Hearing how Sasuke apparently views him is the worst betrayal Naruto couldn’t have anticipated. For a moment, even as his jaw tightens in telltale stubbornness, a wall of unshed tears glitter dangerously in his eyes before they’re blinked away.

His feelings on the Soulmate bond in the Netherworld have been complicated from the start, in part due to willful ignorance on the subject and in part due to the influence of his Shadow. Given the implications of the name, Naruto can’t help believing that such a bond should be restricted to those in love—something his Shadow has repeatedly reinforced the jinchūriki will never know. ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ᴀʟʟ, ᴡʜᴏ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴇʀ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ? Hinata, allegedly, and yet Naruto feels little beyond a platonic affection for the softspoken Hyūga. Since meeting them, he compares his own lacking love life to the incredible, whirlwind romance between his parents. Maybe such a partnership just isn’t meant for him. Maybe it can’t be.

But even if he didn’t already foster these misgivings about the Soulmate bond, the approach Sasuke takes now would have put Naruto off.]

So…that’s how you feel about me, huh. [Pride wounded, hurt blisters into anger.] And the way you’re talking… It sounds like a business transaction between strangers. You agree to cover my weaknesses, [the word is spat,] and in return, the nonexistent debt between us is cleared. Is that right?

This bond should be something special, bastard! What about Sakura-chan!?

[chokuto]

[Sasuke has no way of knowing how badly he's miscommunicated his intent, and the reflection of that hurt in his friend is like a knife, surprise briefly cracking open his expression in vulnerable shock before it shutters tight at the mention of their teammate.]

What about Sakura? If you're worried about her feelings, then you should know she's the one who told me to approach you first.

[It was Sakura's idea, that he would be able to balance Naruto's emotions as incurred by the Shadow, that they are uniquely qualified to handle each other in their worst states. And it was Sasuke who had denied it, concerned that his presence would only make his friend even more volatile. It seems he may have been right.]

You're not a stranger. I don't see why covering each other's weaknesses is a bad thing.

[Isn't that what teammates are supposed to do? The confusion is a sharp, black, twisting thing within him, quickly flaming into anger and his own deeper hurt, irrational though it may be. So it is proven, and his tentative step forward to establish their team dynamic again is unnecessary. 𝐍𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥. Then again, this is the Soulmate bond. The truth is perhaps closer to the fact that Naruto does not see him as special in the way he would a romantic connection.

He should have seen this coming. It was stupid of him to ask at all.]

If you won't with me, then you should with Sakura. I know she'd do it.

[acknowledgement]

[Sakura suggested this? No, there must be a misunderstanding. She wouldn’t—but then Naruto pauses, recalling the occasion she invited him to lunch. Though he accepted in the expectation that they would be casually hanging out, it quickly became clear she had an agenda. And that wasn’t the first time Sakura tried manipulating him. While she has always acted with his best interests at heart, Naruto wishes his teammates would have enough faith in him to be honest. The duplicity…is he really so stupid they think he won’t notice?]

But it’s not about covering each other’s weaknesses! [he argues, tone laden with a bitter edge.] Not the way you’re trying to sell it! You’re not treating me like an equal or friend. You’re treating me like a mission. You said it yourself—I’m weak. I’m dangerous. I’m a liability!

[An errant hand scrapes through his hair furiously, ripping out strands along the way.]

Dunno why I’m surprised by any of this. You both have been gossiping about me ever since we got here! She keeps telling me I can depend on you two, but neither of you trust me at all! So now it’s come down to this…if I don’t bond with you, I should bond with my other babysitter. Except Sakura-chan’s made it clear—I’m not the one she wants that kind of connection with! You are!

[chokuto]

Oblivium is dangerous to all of us. You don't think I haven't considered the same of myself? What I might do under the influence of that darkness?

[He's hidden the extent of this just the same, but now it comes out in a rush of anger, the burden of carrying these thoughts the last several weeks. At times it it still difficult to untangle what is the supposed Shadow of this dimension, and what is simply him and what he's brought here as part of his soul. If there's any difference at all.]

I speak to you as much as I speak to her. There's no scheme behind your back, and if you imagine as much, then it isn't an issue of trust on my end. My conversations with Sakura concern only our survival here, and that survival depends on you. Protecting you. Seeing that you return to Konoha. You're needed, Naruto.

[He stands, frigidly, where he first entered the space behind Naruto's Door, eyes pinned intensely upon his friend.]

I've never returned Sakura's feelings. She should be aware of that. If it wasn't clear to you, then you truly don't understand me at all. [Cold words, but the frustration of the moment snaps it out of him. Not once has he expressed interest in their mutual teammate. How much more plainly does it need to be said?] I have no privilege to wait around for this special connection you describe. Do any of us? You're living in a fantasy.

[acknowledgement]

[Sasuke’s argument might not have been so incriminating if not for past conversations. Again and again, his teammates have made it abundantly clear here that returning Naruto to Konoha is the main concern—and not necessarily with them by his side. “You’re needed, Naruto.” Words flung at him as if his two closest friends are not. As if the entirety of his world doesn’t hinge on their continued presence in his life. As if they were expendable—small and petty sacrificial game pieces, awaiting an opportunity to launch themselves into danger’s way for his sake. And the worst part of it all? As a shinobi, he knows their priority is correct. This is the cold, grim reality Naruto is tasked with facing once he accepts the mantle of Hokage: Their worth is not equal, not in the grand scheme of protecting the village. But despite his awareness of that awful fact, a dark fury still creeps over his expression now. When he blinks, eyelids draw upward to reveal irises dyed the color of blood, pupils contracted into tiny, vertical slits.

Maybe he isn’t cut out for Hokage, after all.]

If you think, [he begins, voice trembling with barely suppressed rage around canines grown thick and sharp,] you’re not needed…

[Whisker markings deepen. His self-control is a thin thread unspooling wildly. Kurama urges him to calm down, advice that falls on willfully deaf ears.]

…then you never understood me in the first place.

[A fantasy is all he’s had to keep him going since childhood.

Sasuke has always been part of that fantasy.

Like hell Naruto is going to wake up.]

Bastard!

[Armed with only claws for nails, the blond shinobi hurls himself bodily at Sasuke and throws them both down onto the uneven, dusty rocks. The setting is nostalgic. Fueled by his misplaced anger and doubt, struggling to keep bijū chakra from exploding out of him, Naruto wrestles his best friend as if he can beat understanding into Sasuke with only one arm and a rapidly fraying dream.]

[chokuto]

[In the end, is it his fault? He's agitated his friend to this point of no return; and too, before, it seemed the situation developed because of him. There's little time to agonize further — Naruto's assault is upon him, taking the action of violence that speaks more clearly between them than anything else. Sasuke braces himself to meet it.

He's struck across the arm held out as a barrier, momentum enough to carry them into a hard, sideways roll. To break them apart, Sasuke delivers a hard kick to the other boy's side that intends to throw him off and across the rocky earth. With this breathing space regained, he climbs to knees, expression gritted.]

You know it's different.

[If he's needed, it isn't in the same way Naruto is. It never will be.]

Get a hold of yourself. Or are you going to let that side of you win? It's just more proof you need to accept the bond with someone before it's too late.