logs | {suddenly, you lose your way and lose the thread.

Entry tags:

{suddenly, you lose your way and lose the thread.

WHO: Aspen, various
WHERE: Shadowlands, Stygia, and more
WHEN: December
WHAT: Catch-all log (event + general)
WARNINGS: Refer to Aspen's blanket warnings to be safe. Includes nonsexual descriptions of nudity (nude model thread.)

→ harbor

( in this white-out winter, a slender figure steps through the snow with dogged determination. aspen acts like the wind doesn't really bother him, and in a sense, it doesn't - these winters are not unlike the ones he's witnessed in petir. he's missed them - in a sense that he hasn't seen snow for almost two years. he's been so used to rains that he almost forgot that most places got snow instead of flooding. while most seem to be bundled up and bustling, aspen enjoys the snowflakes dancing in the air and some that stick to his cheeks and lashes. that, however, doesn't mean he doesn't take notice when some people are freezing their tails off.

as he unlocks the side entrance to his still-remodeling shop, he calls - )

If you're cold, you can come in here for a reprieve.

( aspen's expression isn't as cheery as it usually is - even as he rustles and flaps his wings to knock the frost off of his feathers, there's something heavy hanging in the air about him. he pushes his braid out of his coat so it falls over his shoulder like usual, setting down the coat that he'd kept over his clothes. he's traded in pastels for darker blues and blacks, and he heads to the stone counter - opening the side gate so he stands behind the counter and starts taking care of the plants and walls of powders, tonics, and salves he has stashed away. )

What are you doing out here, if I may ask? You're not going to cross the sea, are you? If you get knocked off the ship, who knows if you'll freeze or not at this point - ghk...

( he covers his mouth as he coughs up a few flower petals, his sigh melding with an exhausted wheeze. he shakes his head with disappointment. )

Apologies.

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What a scary face.

( aspen searches through his papers and folded powders as he speaks, but the good-natured lilt of his voice says he's teasing. )

This is the medicine shop I'm opening next month. It's still under construction and I need some shelves brought in, some floorboards replaced with tile - but it's usable as my workshop for now.

( he casts a proud look around. many hanging plants make their home above the floor, as well as some potted ones underneath. everything is cleaned and tidy. if sasuke knows any plants, he may spot poisonous sorts growing right alongside the medicinal ones. )

... but yes, I am ill. This strange affliction is... nothing I've seen or heard about before.

Edited 2022-12-08 21:38 (UTC)

[When he does cross into the shop, the hesitation is palpable, and there's a moment where his eyes pass over every corner as if paranoid something might jump out to bite him. The survey, once finished, doesn't seem to ease his tension, but he's able to face Aspen more directly at the counter.]

So you don't have a cure. [The comment is derisive but impersonal. Seeing Aspen, he had thought—foolishly hoped—the other Restless might have made more progress than the medicine sellers he'd come across so far. But that was desperate. A curse of this world wouldn't follow any of the rules known before.] If your symptoms aren't severe, perhaps you'll survive.

[Which is more than he can say of himself. In the wan light, Sasuke's face is pale, no spot of color even inside the warmer interior of the shop. The warmth doesn't really touch him at all.]

Do you believe it? That this curse is a manifestation of our emotions toward others.

Unfortunately not. Perhaps if the way to Hale wasn't such a trek and dotted with rubble, we'd be able to go to and from facilities that would make finding a cure easier.

( it bothers aspen too, but well - he's never been much of a cure seeker.

as he mulls over the idea that the disease stems from emotion, the fact that none of his papers have many words is clearer due to still hands. in fact, nothing in the shop has more than a scant few written words. aspen raises his gaze to sasuke, finally. )

It's not unheard of. Illnesses that plague others to death are usually chronic - and sentiment is just the same. Absolving oneself of emotion is near impossible, and emotion is known to exacerbate already dire illness.

At the same time, it doesn't make sense for me. I love two people, so why is mine so mild by comparison?

[He knows as much. He doesn't need Aspen to tell him what Assana has already confirmed, that emotion is so intrinsically tied to the workings of this world. It's the worst possible reality for him, but he can't do anything about that.

Those last words draw a sharp look.]

Platonic bonds aren't as severe. [Don't think about it, Sasuke. Don't.] Or so it seems. That could be why. [Because clearly that's what Aspen meant???]

( he looks at sasuke and tilts his head, blinking at him like a confused little canary might. )

No, no - I'm not talking about platonic love. At home, I had my husband, and then I had my lover. We had already begun talks on if he would become my consort along with my current husband, since... ah, well, it's complicated.

( he averts his gaze to look down, bent index finger against his lips as he thinks deeply. he can't seem to puzzle it out, and then raises his gaze to sasuke again. )

What do you think it could be? You seem to know more about it than I do.

[Aspen may as well have spoken in his native language for all that Sasuke understands what was just said. Consort. Husband. A second look, almost owlish, confirms that Aspen seems to be another man like him, but he also knows appearances can be deceiving.]

Your world seems... confusing. [Time to put that in a box and never examine it again. Uncomfortable, he begins studying the display of plants.] Then in your situation, the sentiment is returned. I don't know. I was told it can be more serious for affection that remains unreciprocated.

[The amount of mental gymnastics he's doing around that is impressive.]

'Confessions' may be a potential cure, but I don't believe it.

Confusing? ( how could it be confusing? ) It's just marriage. Don't you have marriage in your world? The joining of two people when they love each other, for life and beyond?

Though the way you're saying it... ( he purses his lips. ) If the sentiment being returned means the condition is milder, it makes sense that a confession might help. Have you tried that?

[Sasuke closes his eyes, regretting everything that has led him up to this moment.]

The traditions of my own culture are different. Men don't marry other men. [Is it illegal? Not as far as Sasuke's aware, but it is a considerable taboo. He has never seen it himself.] I was only surprised.

[That question earns a blunt,] No. My situation doesn't apply. [Never Ask Me That Again.]

Do you have medicine with warming properties? [Mismatched eyes turn back to the contents of Aspen's store; he is still cold, and being indoors doesn't seem to be helping.] Tonics or balms.

Eh?!

( aspen flinches as if he was struck, eyes growing wide with disbelief. his bewilderment is much more obvious than sasuke's, and it doesn't seem to pass - and he's not as okay with compartmentalizing it. )

Why wouldn't you just marry the person you love... I understand in some aspects, like for heirs, but...

( mumble mumble. he doesn't answer sasuke directly, but he rummages through his things. )

I have some serums for everlasting warmth. It's not really everlasting, but it lingers for quite a while when you drink it, usually in a tea or water. Apologies - I don't... really have any sort of magic that would light the fireplace. ( he nods to the fireplace on the other side of the floor, somewhat covered with canvas. it does seem to come with pretty dry wood. ) Nor do I have flint.

[He won't have a satisfying answer to Aspen's confusion, so he remains silent. The person you love. Marriage is only a legal contract, but there's no denying that for certain clans and bloodlines, heirs are an important aspect of that agreement. Sasuke can't see what love has to do with it. He's never had the same romantic mindset as others.

Marrying for love seems like such a naïve, softhearted sentiment. Something Naruto and Sakura would believe in — not him.]

I can light it. [Sasuke crosses the room, pulling off the tarp from the fireplace, part of him gratified to have a task to do. Better than the cold, quiet listlessness. Aspen is the first person he's spoken to in a long string of silent days alone.] I'll buy the serum as well. How much will it cost?

( there's suddenly tension in the air. aspen stares at the fireplace with apprehension - it's perfectly cleaned out, ready to be lit, but it looks like absolutely no one has done so, like it's new. he seems just as tense as he'd been during their adventure in the woods, when the fire has blazed.

he's holding his breath. for what, who knows.

it takes a moment for him to jerk out of it, refocused on sasuke. his mind has to jumpstart to realize what he's been saying and he clears his throat. )

Ah - you can have a vial for free. I never was able to thank you for your help the other month.

There's nothing to thank. It was the same as any other mission. And your skills were equally beneficial given the scenario we faced.

[He doesn't like feeling owed, or otherwise in someone's debt, which is how he would feel if the vial is gifted for free.

With the fireplace uncovered and blocks of wood placed within the grated center, Sasuke lifts his right hand to perform the jutsu — katon's hand signals adjusted in the absence of his left arm — then brings the circle of fingers to his lips. It requires barely any chakra, so the effort is easy as a stream of fire from his mouth torches the wood, catching in a quick blaze. The room flares with light and heat.]

How much?

( aspen flinches and turns his face away upon hearing the crackle. silently, he exhales, gathering his wits about him once more. alright. alright - he can do this. he can't be afraid of fire forever. )

Fine. Two coins. Pre-opening discount.

( when he actually opens, he'll sell it at a little over five. )

Did you want it with water or tea?

[Perceptive, he notices the flinch, reminded of a similar reaction to the campfire's blaze that night in the woods. It's not enough to make a judgment, but Sasuke's gaze lingers a moment longer before he approaches the counter. Two coins are fished from the pouch at his belt and placed down.]

... Just water.

[He's not planning to savor the serum.]

You said you were a green mage before, and that this gave you control over plants and flora. Are any of them poisonous? [He nods toward the array of Aspen's plants in the shop. Whatever familiarity he has with poison is only at the end product, once synthesized for consumption. Orochimaru was far from a gardener.]

( he does take the coins, though he seems hesitant to. it's against his better judgement - but surprisingly, he doesn't show any alarm to sasuke's question as he searches the icebox for a jug of water and pours sasuke a glass along with a long vial of the serum. it has a slight orange tint, and the cream-colored label has no words - only a sun, neatly drawn. )

Some of them are, yes. I would recommend not touching any of the plants I have in here to be safe, unless I say it's alright or you're particularly comfortable with it. Sometimes, one harmless plant can look like another, much more harmful variety - and those harmful, poisonous plants are necessary to concoct antidotes for their effects.

[Sasuke's right hand falls to the glass, circling its base to draw it closer across the counter. He studies the pale, beige color of the water once the serum is added; against his palm, he doesn't feel any heat. That isn't too strange. The effects are physical to the chemistry of the body, not necessarily to the substance used to dissolve it.]

I'm immune to most poison. [Depending on the chemical compound, its effects upon him can vary, but it shouldn't kill him so long as he has the antibodies. A benefit to years of experimental training under Orochimaru.] ... Still, the plants of this world are of a different origin, so it's possible there is a poison here my body has not experienced.

[If Aspen ever needs a test subject, he's a good candidate?]

Did you learn your mage abilities, or were you born with them?

Now that's interesting. I didn't know we had something as strange as poison immunity in common.

( aspen notes this away for later use as he wipes down the light specks of dust on the counter. he starts setting up some glass dishes, as well as unwrapping bits of cheesecloth to reveal dried herbs. with careful precision, he snips some of them into small bits and begins to add them to a dish. the mortar and pestle is within reach - that, he uses for a red-looking herb, and when he starts to grind it up, it turns into a bright red powder. he speaks as he works, moving with practiced grace and knowledge. clearly, he has no qualms about carrying on his work with someone watching. )

If there's a medicine with an adverse effect, I'll be certain to make sure you're taken care of. Everyone's body works a little differently, after all.

( into the mortar goes a vial of cloudy liquid, and aspen works on making a paste. )

That's a complicated question. I was born with the affinity for green magic, but until I was... mmm... ( he pauses to think, counting on his fingers. ) Nineteen? Seven years ago. Then, that is when I was trained, and could actually use it.

[Eventually, as if forced to move past the mountain of his own reluctance, he lifts the glass and drinks it. The serum is almost tasteless to him, easy to consume. Its effects are not immediate — but when they come, he can feel the warmth blooming within himself, thawing out the misery of the weather from the last several hours of traveling outside.]

I see. [He still has shared nothing of his own abilities with anyone in this place, and intends to hold that silence. But it reminds him of chakra. Someone could have an affinity for certain natures and not receive training.] Are there other types of magic?

[One black eye and one purple eye follow Aspen's busy movements through the shop. The Rinnegan is always active, and this is why he picks up on something strange on the area of Aspen's back... a hue, or aura, burning hot.]

You don't like fire.

( he watches sasuke cautiously, gaze going from his face to his body, but he smiles a few moments after. good, no ill effects. ever since augustine had an issue, he's been worried. )

Well, there's the primary and secondary schools of magic. Fire, water, earth, wind - those are the primary schools, and what most people are born with an affinity for. Storm, stone, and green magic are the three secondary schools. It's very rare to find a mage with an affinity for those, but it does happen. Those two schools make up the birth magics - the magics one can be born with an affinity for. There's countless types of other magic, but they are learned disciplines. My birth magic was green, thus I am registered as a green mage, but I learned healing and soul magic as well.

( while he speaks, he sets the paste and herbs to boil - not with fire warming the water, either. it's a spell, a bright glowing orb that radiates heat, that stands in for the fire he needs.

when sasuke correctly comes to his conclusion, he flinches just slightly before forcing himself to calm. )

... well, of course. Fire burns plants, after all. Stone mages tend to hate me, you know? Because plants worm their way through stones and break them, crack them. It's not so strange.

[There's a lot of complexity to the technical abilities of other worlds, but this doesn't surprise Sasuke. He imagines it would be the same to someone trying to understand chakra. By Aspen's description, his own skills of nature transformation might belong to the primary school of magic, but he is less sure of lightning. And there is no easily comparing his kekkei genkai. Perhaps he shouldn't try to draw lines of comparison.]

I know of a similar relationship between nature types, although the separation of green and stone would be closer to earth and wood. Wood has a similar strength over earth.

[It's more complicated than that, but at least it helps him understand Aspen's explanation.]

I've never heard of a specific affinity for plants. [He is imagining how it might be useful in battle, automatically. But:] I'll refrain from using fire in your presence in the future.

I'm not -

( aspen comes in hot, like he's going to bite sasuke's head off, but he reins himself back in as he hunches his back. after a moment or two, he speaks with more clarity and purpose, waiting for the water to boil and slowly peculate. )

You don't need to do that. I stood side by side in a war with plenty of battlemages that used fire magic. I'm just...

( ...

he pinches the bridge of his nose, fighting the terror in his body for a good moment before meeting sasuke's gaze with determination. )

Fire is necessary to green magic. It is nature kept in check. Even I know that. If a controlled bushfire doesn't burn away the dead undergrowth one year, the entire forest will go up in flames the next year. Your grace is appreciated, but it would be better for you to do the opposite. I need to get used to all sorts of fighting again in this godless place.

[A brow lifts, but he says nothing in argument. A part of him is impressed at the resilience and insistence not to avoid what may be considered weakness. It's something he can respect, because he would do the same.]

All right. [He's leaning on the counter now, chin propped in hand, eyes lidded with sudden drowsiness as the serum sets into his body, warming cold limbs. He's tired. He doesn't know how long he has been wandering, looking for Naruto. Yet before thoughts can stray in that obsessive direction, Sasuke forces himself to focus back on Aspen.] My clan has an affinity for fire, so I grew up surrounded by it. But I also have control over lightning.

[The paranoid, guarded voice in his mind is quieter, muted by a defeated sense that it doesn't even matter if he does share these things now. He likely won't live much longer in this world.]

Your skill is more useful in everyday life. Fire is destructive where your green magic can create food and medicine. It would have been highly valued in my village.

( aspen watches sasuke, analytical mind taking in his posture. he hasn't ever seen sasuke like this - warm and slightly drowsy. the serum isn't meant to put anyone to sleep, but perhaps he's just that exhausted. he'll make a note of that. he knows he stashed some furs and linens somewhere just in case he needed a plan B on where to sleep. he lets himself smile despite himself after a moment. )

Green magic is all that, but I think you sell yourself short when it comes to fire. Fire isn't all destructive. It's keeping us warm now, isn't it? It makes some food edible, since some plants are completely poisonous until cooked. Gods know who figured that out. Fire can purify water, too, with some finesse.

( he has a feeling sasuke probably knows all of these things. but like his own magic, it's good to have a reminder. )

The king I served was much the same. His family had fire magic in its veins - he was set to inherit power in its purest form. Yet, he didn't. He had no magical ability at all, in fact, it hurt him. Instead, he's one of the finest sword hands in all of Estelya, I'd have to wager.

( he meets sasuke's eye, curious. ) Does that happen in your village, too? Are people born without an affinity, like some of the people here who have no magic?

[Frowning at the counter, Sasuke can find no true argument to those words, despite his own instinct. He has only ever wielded fire as a weapon against his opponents. It was what he was taught; every tool at his disposal something to be refined and made better.]

... The king you served. Then your world has royalty as well. [Aspen would be the second that he's met, alongside Laurent. He is still learning the intricacies of royalty, but unfortunately Laurent is not the best teacher on the subject.] What you describe isn't unsurprising, even if the workings of magic are different. An affinity doesn't promise skill. It must be trained.

[Aspen's question ventures into reluctant territory. He's told no one of chakra so far.]

It's not possible to be born without that 'magic'. But the affinity for certain skills, yes. Those individuals would go on to live ordinary lives as civilians. It must not be the same for you if your king couldn't use his magic.

( aspen briefly imagines a ninja-king. he wonders what that might be like. )

Yes. Royalty is common in my world, as there are many countries. Some are maintained by other sorts of leaders, of course, but lineage tends to denote who leads in Estelya. ( a quick clarification - ) Estelya is the many-nations alliance. The king I served acted as the Peacekeeper, doing exactly what it sounds - keeping the peace between all the nations in the alliance.

( though that didn't mean wars didn't break out anyway, though. aspen hums as he replaces a stopper with a glass so the concentrated liquid can drip down and cool. )

King Amir is a special case. There's this... mmm... you're familiar with heirlooms, right? Precious things that are passed down between a family's generations. Well, that's the case with royal families as well, and Amir's family held an artifact called the Sastragara. It is a longsword that can transform into any weapon its bearer requires, and it is seen as the symbol of his nation's protector. The problem is that it houses powerful magic - magic he cannot use, and cannot wield without great pain to him. As king and leader of his nation, he must still be capable of protecting it even without such a powerful tool at his disposal. Normally not being born with magic is not a problem - the usual citizen could go about their lives most easily, but...

For someone who had so much expectation and was born into a legacy of magic, being born without magic... what would you think of someone who was meant to wield great power like you, but could not, yet still tried to keep up with you?

Would you pity them?

{suddenly, you lose your way and lose the thread.

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