logs | [closed] hey get your knives out

[ whatever intimate is, leaks doesn't know. the meaning is unclear to him. he's doing what he feels is right for the moment and the implications they may have... he doesn't understand. the love and affection he had for someone long ago isn't forgotten, but it doesn't have the same weight. liberated from life and saved by death for not having to reconcile the flood of emotions he would've felt if he stayed alive to face his only friend's son. ]

Then... cling onto stability that you have now, and do not let go.

[ slowly, he wraps his arms around shalem. something pulls at his heart. it's uncomfortable but doesn't feel wrong. to give anyone comfort is an alien sensation, but to give it to someone not from his world acts as some kind of analgesic. something numbing and cool. ]

Be tenacious and strong. If you cannot, then I will be for the both of us.

[ the words leave him before he even has a chance to hold them back. and the presence that has been slinking in the back of leaks' mind, somewhere in the deep darkness, snickers. ]

Nn?!

[everything leaks has said shocks shalem out of his stupour-- he imagines that he would have wrung the man's neck if it wasn't for his words and his arms throwing ice-cold water right into his veins.

shalem looks right into leaks' face, disengaging from the hug in order to do so.]

A soulmate-- you're offering to do that? For me? [he can scarce believe it. pinch him, he's surely dreaming.]

Is it that surprising?

[ his tone is light as he's amused by the reaction. ]

The benefits outweigh the risks. That should be the alone reasoning behind doing it, do you not agree?

[ the consequences aren't as significant. that's how he feels. that he's exposed his insecurities and fears in the past, albeit in a different way. without that limiter, without something curbing his own here? he's at risk of doing stupid things. that's the fact of the matter. ]

You are the first one I met here. You are the first one I have trusted. I believe that is enough.

Soulmates... are unknown to me. People speak so much of the benefits, but surely there are consequences as well. [nothing so good will ever come for free.

too bad no one talks about it. he hasn't even heard of other new restless like himself gaining one so quickly save for that one person on the network asking for advice days ago.]

Linking our hearts and minds... as if it means we can hear each others' thoughts. [then he sighs deeply.] Everything you saw just now, the look on my face-- my faces-- the way I reacted... that is all magnified in my head, all the time. I don't know if anyone can stand that tempest. Are you truly willing to try?

[ it's almost... irritating, that shalem would be trying to warn him of something that he's already committed to. that once this catte decides something, he doesn't back down. he has weighed the pros and cons and has come to a conclusion. why would the one that he proposed to be so... hesitant? tentative?

who is he more worried for? himself or leaks? ]

If you are willing to tolerate me in your headspace, then I will do the same for you.

[ his words may sound harsh, but his tone is anything but that. ]

In the meantime... we should do what we came here to do. Be strong for now.

[ and he gives shalem a very brief squeeze. ]

[shalem breathes out softly in a sigh. perhaps... he'll allow himself to hope for the better, just this once.]

After this... we can do it. [work over personal crises, isn't that what he's done for the past years while alive?

then, in a soft voice as he's unwilling to let leaks go just yet:]

Thank you.

Yes.

[ his heart feels like it gets stuck in his throat, just for a moment. the act of someone thanking him... for perceived kindness...? he can only remember one other time when it's happened. ]

Do not... you do not need to thank me. We are merely reciprocating...

[ a chill runs up his spine and he shivers. ]

... it is a show of trust and confidence.

And having trust placed in me is something to be grateful for, because it's never something to be taken lightly.

[shalem finally pulls away from the embrace, but is unwilling to let go of leaks completely. he takes hold of the man's hand in his own, squeezing briefly, and simply letting both of them be like this, linked.]

I suppose... we really should finish this quickly, so we can go out to our doors soon.

[ fine words to be said, heard by a cat who still doesn't know what he's truly getting into--- but there's no fear. no reason to have any. it doesn't matter how dangerous shalem believes himself to be; confidence allows leaks to weather any storm. if he fails, then it is because of equal or greater efforts. that's all. ]

Yes. Of course.

[ so why not just grab what caught his attention off the floor? a stick with a shiny end that could probably fit into a device. he pulls shalem along with him, using his free hand to scoop it up. ]

Let us see if this is the correct one.

[ and he hands it to shalem. ]

That is... [a flash drive? shalem takes it, confused.] I suppose a movie could be downloaded into this, depending on its capacity... But I admit, I was expecting a disc.

[then he peers at the plug, notes how it looks, and tugs his hand out of leaks' to pull out his phone, plugging the drive into it and swiping to search for the right app.]

It shouldn't take too long to see the title card, unless the opening is quite long. Are you up for the first few minutes of a movie?

A disc? You mean some kind of rounded object...

[ well, he couldn't locate any of those here, and he assumes that whatever the stick he found may have what they're looking for. technology is still foreign to him; he'll just have to hope for the best.

not like it matters too much. if shalem knows how to handle some of these things, leaks is more than happy to let him take the lead. ]

I am. [ a beat, then: ] What... exactly is a movie?

Oh-- [shalem looks back up at his companion from his phone, finger hovering over the "play" button.] You're from a world that doesn't have such things, aren't you?

[this makes this difficult, since shalem will have to be creative in describing such things.]

Think of them as... a play, but the actors and crew are not restricted by just a single stage. They record themselves acting in a setting of their choosing, and move on to the next location, until they've finished their entire script and can release what they've recorded to the public.

An entirely different form of art, and wonderful for how accessible it is.

[with that, he taps the button and leans against leaks' shoulder, so they can watch the screen together. when they get past the credits of who helped make the movie, and in a language shalem can't read, they're greeted by a pair of teenaged girls, having a sleepover, watching baseball on a small tv, talking about a child who recently died, and the urban legend that supposedly killed him. about how a woman on the tv told him he would die after seven days, and so he did.]

No. We have stories passed down through book and speaking. Other artistic mediums are not popular or rarely seen.

[ but he's learning a lot already. hard to not be curious about the advanced technology and try to explore some of it himself. as he watches the movie with shalem, he curls an arm around the other's waist. he leans into him as well, feeling the side of his head touch shalem's. whatever this movie is about, it's particularly grisly, and despite the fact they only need to preview it... see the title, then deliver? they watch the entire thing. ]

... how curious. This tape they watched was a curse itself? Interesting.

[ very fascinating, as he allows his tail to now loosely hang against his future bonded. ]

If I were that spirit, I would have simply killed everyone right away.

Now, now. We don't know this spirit's reasoning for a drawn-out horror. [shalem curls his tail around leaks', feeling brave.

then again, horror doesn't bother him much anymore, when his life could have been a horror movie-- his experiences in the castle could have been one in itself.]

Some of them linger for their own reasons.

[they don't even see either of the girls from the opening die, really. just a cut when things start getting spooky around one of them... and then the main characters change once more.]

Hmm. This movie, perhaps, isn't meant to be that scary?

[ oh, tails touching each other. what a strange sensation? shalem's has no fur but that's not unusual. neither did firi, but there was no incidental or purposeful tail interaction with them. he would've preferred death over being found canoodling with his former subordinate. ]

I suppose you are right, though I believe spirits should... move on when they can.

[ maybe they should sit? they are in a theatre, there's no lack of seats. so he pulls shalem along to the closest row and relaxes in one of them. ]

This is not particularly frightening. Then again, I am not perturbed by those who linger longer on the living plane than needed. Are you?

[shalem's tail disengages from leaks' as he's tugged along-- fortunately, he had the presence of mind to pause the movie-- but he's quick to tuck the end of it around the furry feline tail once more when he's settled into a cushy theatre seat. it's a comfortable action for him, and comforting to boot. he can't feel the fur, but he can certainly feel the heat of it, the nice weight.

then he chuckles weakly, leak's question just... a splash of cold water over his shoulders.]

Ah... Those I am most afraid of... they're neither living nor dead. Is it truly living, if you have no mind of your own anymore?

[he's not expecting an answer. he already knows what his own opinions on such things are.]

You'll see them soon enough, among my tethers.

Edited 2022-11-26 16:34 (UTC)

Living or dead, bodies will burn the same.

[ no fear. he's raised corpses before. leaning into shalem, leaks closes his eyes for a moment. just resting them. it's hard to stare at bright screens for long periods of time; he's not used to this in the slightest. ]

I suppose you will have to see mine as well. I did not have much in life. I do not seem to have much here, either.

[ tails gently entwining. what a somewhat relaxing gesture. ]

So... do not worry.

[despite their similar heights, shalem slouches enough so he's resting his cheek against leaks' shoulder as he brings up his phone again to continue the movie. a mother and her young son, apparently, and dressed in black to attend a funeral.]

You don't have to explain any of them or what they mean, if you don't want to. We're about to encroach on each other's privacy, if I understand being mated correctly. You deserve to keep some secrets for yourself.

[ he's never been to a funeral before. in fact, the meaning of the scene is completely lost on him. he's also distracted by shalem--- in a good way, he thinks. it's better that leaks focuses on the other man and not the movie, even if they're supposed to be looking for something that'll indicate what kind of 'play' they're watching. ]

You deserve to know as much as you feel inclined.

[ because frankly, leaks is not a sore loser. he'll learn from his failures. ]

[in this moment, shalem knows that the movie is no longer their focus. they're acting like it's not even playing, that they're just sitting against each other for the sake of it.

that's fine by him. leaks is comfortable.]

Ah, well... What is comfortable for you to share?

That... I do not dislike your presence.

[ actually, it's still somewhat uncomfortable to be this forward, but it's also the truth. he doesn't know all of shalem's struggles and though he'd like to say he could be a sufficient bulwark to what he's experienced and the fears that may come with them? it's only because he's weaponized those things. ]

You offer something that no one else can. I believe this.

[shalem freezes, the only voluntary movement he makes for several seconds the stupid, silent blinking up at leaks.

when he finds his voice, he can't stop the questions.]

Why? What have I ever done for you? [hasn't shalem been the needy one all this time?]

You have offered me a small amount of familiarity here.

[ leaks' ears twitch as he looks into shalem's eyes with a hint of a smile. ]

And I do not want to lose that.

Because we're both not like may of the others, hm? [a feline and a pythia-- shalem understands that, he's gotten used to the stares his tail gets on a daily basis.

shalem pauses the movie once more and sets his phone down on his thigh. no need for it anymore.]

I would not like to lose that either... It's nice, to see someone else with a nice tail after these months of seeing just plain skin. [rosa's tail is surely small and cute, but it's not proper to look at a lady's arse.]

No. We are not.

[ leaks blinks a few times, feeling warmth in his cheeks, eyes following the phone down to shalem's lap. no more of that movie. they're better off with each other as company. even if what they found isn't right... it was still worth something in the end. ]

My tail? You find that nice?

[ oh. hm... ]

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