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Entry tags:
{suddenly, you lose your way and lose the thread.
WHO: Aspen, various
WHERE: Shadowlands, Stygia, and more
WHEN: December
WHAT: Catch-all log (event + general)
WARNINGS: Refer to Aspen's blanket warnings to be safe. Includes nonsexual descriptions of nudity (nude model thread.)
WHERE: Shadowlands, Stygia, and more
WHEN: December
WHAT: Catch-all log (event + general)
WARNINGS: Refer to Aspen's blanket warnings to be safe. Includes nonsexual descriptions of nudity (nude model thread.)
→ harbor
( in this white-out winter, a slender figure steps through the snow with dogged determination. aspen acts like the wind doesn't really bother him, and in a sense, it doesn't - these winters are not unlike the ones he's witnessed in petir. he's missed them - in a sense that he hasn't seen snow for almost two years. he's been so used to rains that he almost forgot that most places got snow instead of flooding. while most seem to be bundled up and bustling, aspen enjoys the snowflakes dancing in the air and some that stick to his cheeks and lashes. that, however, doesn't mean he doesn't take notice when some people are freezing their tails off.
as he unlocks the side entrance to his still-remodeling shop, he calls - )
If you're cold, you can come in here for a reprieve.
( aspen's expression isn't as cheery as it usually is - even as he rustles and flaps his wings to knock the frost off of his feathers, there's something heavy hanging in the air about him. he pushes his braid out of his coat so it falls over his shoulder like usual, setting down the coat that he'd kept over his clothes. he's traded in pastels for darker blues and blacks, and he heads to the stone counter - opening the side gate so he stands behind the counter and starts taking care of the plants and walls of powders, tonics, and salves he has stashed away. )
What are you doing out here, if I may ask? You're not going to cross the sea, are you? If you get knocked off the ship, who knows if you'll freeze or not at this point - ghk...
( he covers his mouth as he coughs up a few flower petals, his sigh melding with an exhausted wheeze. he shakes his head with disappointment. )
Apologies.
no subject
I’m alright.
[Would he say this even if he wasn’t alright? Probably. Much to Aspen’s irritation more than likely.
It’s fine…]
What kind of medicine?
[His brows pinch ever so slightly, but he keeps looking at Aspen.
Slowly, he offers the handkerchief back.]
no subject
I can't tell you that. It's against a breech of my oath to tell others what medicines someone takes unless it's life-threatening.
( instead, as he takes the handkerchief back: )
Would you like to know my services? In case you have any need of it.
( he can't tell d what augustine is taking, but d can probably figure out if he wants to know. )
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If they won’t tell him and he acts relatively decently as a person, then he thinks that’s fairly trustworthy.]
Alright. I’m listening.
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During the winter, I have a serum of everlasting warmth due to this bitter cold, taken with tea or water for best effects. It does not cure the chill, but it can make it more manageable. I also have a calming tea, meant for tamping down the bite of ones' Shadow, but it is still undergoing testing for a full effect. Nightbalm tea is a personalized bedtime tea blend that soothes the mind to rid oneself of nightmares - be aware that it requires consistent use to achieve medical stability and full effect.
I have normal winter items - balms to soothe sore cracked skin, beet sugar-salt mixtures to melt snow... and a tumeric-cinnamon honey milk recipe!
That one isn't mine, and it's given for free. One of the neighbors offered it to me.
no subject
Then he looks up again. From within the confines of the long cape, he brings out a handful of coins. He didn’t inquire of any price—and who knows, it may be more—but he carefully spills the equivalent of thirty coins on the counter.]
I would like to buy the serum for warmth. [He says this like he is in a shop making a purchase.] And also the last recipe.
no subject
I didn't think you'd actually try to buy something, darling. ( he does actually look through the labeled vials and plucks one out. it's long, about the length of d's palm and two fingers thick, with a transparent orange liquid inside. ) You're overpaying though. Even when I intend to be open for actual business, I'd only charge about ten coins for this.
( so he fishes five coins out and pushes the rest back to him. )
You get a discount since I'm not actually running yet. Do you want your drink in a flask or a glass?
no subject
And still doesn’t touch the coins. Will he leave it there? Yes. It is simply how he is, paying the full price without negotiation, or paying more than necessary.
He finds value in other people’s hard work.]
A flask, if you have one.
no subject
( he turns to the shelves behind him. some ingredients are stocked, but most of the shelves house dried flowers, herbs, liquids of varying hues, and differently colored powders. underneath all of that and at aspen's level is a small icebox. he uses a copper shaker to meld a dose of honey, tumeric, cinnamon and a splash of milk together. that concentrated brew is the base for which he adds more milk and begins to heat it up for, whilst tying the recipe on a cord around the flask's neck. )
This'll hold its warmth through the cold for a time.
... you're really going to overpay? ( he hefts a fond sigh. ) I'll take it as a donation...
no subject
[Like with the staff, his eyes lift again and carefully, studiously watch Aspen go about the process. The other things receive a passing glance, but his attention is on what Aspen is making currently more than anything.
As expected, he still doesn't take the money he left on the counter. His job is done here...]
Do you practice botany?
no subject
Granted, I study herbology the most, as my use for flora is largely medicinal. It is but a small corner underneath botany.
no subject
It's commendable. [Maybe more so here when some of the plants are of this world and not familiar.] Healthcare and medicine are more valuable than knowing how to shed blood.
[He glances back at Aspen.]
Do you need anything for your shop?
no subject
That's not...
( aspen falters in speech, for once. he sets the flask on the counter and for a few moments, he doesn't seem to move. something unbidden comes up inside of him. )
You're wrong. You end up useless and watch people die when you could've prevented it, had you the strength to fight and kill.
( he looks at d straight in the eye. )
I wish I could. Kill.
no subject
I know how to kill very well, but there have been many, many people I was never able to save. I watched them die even knowing how to fight.
You should be kinder to yourself. There is a lot of strength in healing and in working with medicine. The people who do live: they can't live a comfortable life without people like you.
no subject
And is that enough? Medicine and healing is good, but what use is it if one can't protect themselves or others?
I'm not standing here hoping to throw this all away, but I recognize the futility of healing when those who wish for healing have already passed. It's not - this isn't more valuable.
no subject
You may have all the skill in the world to protect yourself and others, but people will die anyway.
[This talk is not a first for D to hear, though. There have been plenty of people to tell him the same thing, plenty of humans. To believe in it so fully, like Aspen. So instead of rehashing the same song and dance for an hour, he asks:]
Who did you lose?
no subject
and then he scrunches his face up, turning his gaze down and hunching slight shoulders. )
Who didn't I lose.
( he mumbles miserably, at least glad that the cough that follows sounds very shallow. )
My lovers. Myself. My people, my parents. All died to the hands of slavers who wanted my people as property, and would kill anyone who stood in their way. Medicine does not stop an attempt of genocide.
no subject
His experience is a bit different. (Barring all the danger on the Frontier.) Slavers didn’t take the kind people he knew. Time did. Time always took them, and no amount of killing power could ever help him stop that.]
Now, before you came here, who did you have left?
no subject
aspen hesitated. wisteria died. aza died. he'd been the last one of their trio to die. )
I... don't know. I didn't have time to check the bodies.
( had cress died? his stomach twists into knots. what about raziel? )
The attack that claimed my life took many others. It all happened so fast, I - I don't know who was left. If Wisteria was fighting... then Raziel was likely also killed, as he would've been fighting to protect the palace... Cress may be the only one left. My advisor. Winds guide me, Cress is not - ( he stammers, shaking his head minutely. ) E-even more than me, their grudge against humanity runs deep.
no subject
[First of all. The loss, Aspen’s own life aside. It doesn’t bother him he hadn’t know ; he wouldn’t have without speaking to Aspen as he is now.]
So you may have had someone left. [Even without the ability to kill.] Hate is a seed that burrows deep.
no subject
Imagine if the people closest to you, who championed the rights of vampires and humans working together, or that humans should be kinder to vampires - or any of that... imagine if they were killed by the people you most distrust.
Would you not have reason to distrust and hate them further?
no subject
I think it’s different for me, but I can understand what you’re saying. What do you think became of the one who was left behind?
no subject
( there's a definite sadness to the way aspen says his name, a gentle fondness and a light scolding. )
I hesitate to say it, even though I know it to be true - but they are more prone to violence, particularly against humans. I think if they were to come face to face with the slaver that took our lives... they might just stab first, and that may save their life. And if so, I can't help but feel as if they might rally the rest of our people to raze the humans permanently. They have never been shy about their grudge.
That is - I know you may not believe me given my badmouthing of humanity, but that is not something I would approve of. It only perpetuates the cycle.
no subject
But he doesn’t look away from Aspen as he thinks it over.]
Have you ever discussed this with them?
no subject
aspen purses his lips. )
Is this my failing? ( the question is just as honest, wanting to know if he perhaps should have curbed this behavior. )
no subject
[It isn’t his place to judge much less put into someone else’s head a guilty conscience.It could have turned out the same even if Aspen had opened the discussion.
Hurt and anger and revenge are very powerful forces.]
They may reconsider their actions if they ever heard or saw your understanding concerning humans. If you were as important to them as they are to you. I believe they might think about what you would have wanted for everyone.
But only if they knew.
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