logs | [closed] hey get your knives out

[ he's quiet for a little while longer and then simply nods. it's not a lie: he has no idea what the movie is that was already on the screen. it's significance, however, he can only guess. as to whether he's fine or not... ]

No. It is okay.

[ leaks looks at shalem. he reaches with his other hand, to give the other man's elbow a gentle squeeze. ]

We should be as thorough as possible... two sets of eyes are better than one.

[ that way they don't have to return here for another sweep later. ]

Besides. I do not think it is wise to be alone here.

But you are-- [compromised, he's about to say but does not get the chance to. the projector turns on once more with a click and the whirring of reels, making shalem jump, tail flailing out.

the "movie" projected on the screen has no sound, but this scene doesn't need it.

a number of men dressed in the same way, crying and seemingly laughing at the same time, are headed towards shalem, armed only with a shield. he has no companions, no one to watch his back, standing in a narrow corridor and surrounded by dark stone walls illuminated only by candles as his enemies bear down on him.

then the pythia on screen breaks into a manic smile, eyes wide and bright, as he flings his shield to the side with his hands sparking with red, blue, and indigo.

the true shalem gives a noise of dismay and fear and turns, leaning his head against the wall and pressing his hand to his mouth. just as well that he does, he wouldn't have handled the way his projected self is tearing through the strange men with bare hands.]

That didn't happen... [he's trying to convince himself here, but really... he can't be too sure anymore.]

Edited 2022-11-12 16:03 (UTC)

[ it's his turn now. unlike the oddly esoteric nature of his little autobiographical film, this one seems much more... obvious. clear. that who he's seeing is indeed shalem, though his actions are fascinatingly out of character.

at least, they seem to be.

leaks pivots back, turns to shalem and reaches out to steady him as best as he can. ]

If it did or did not, it does not matter. The past is irrelevant.

[ he knew not to leave the other behind. ]

[shalem flinches when leaks touches him, so jumpy that even comfort is not comforting at all. but he forces himself to breathe deep and calm down from what he's seen... though he refuses to turn around. not until he knows for sure that the projector is off. but until he hears that click, he has to still keep his back to the rest of the room.]

No, it is still relevant.

No matter how far I've run, or how long I've been running... [he sighs deeply, and it almost sounds like a sob.] It always finds its way to me. Somehow.

Stop.

[ he snatches shalem's hand, gives it a firm squeeze. something to remind him that he's not alone. that he has company. emotions, especially fear, are a powerful thing. leaks would know having employed them as a tool. a weapon. he can feel the swelling of panic, waves of uncertainty that could swallow up a man.

leaks can't do this alone. he needs shalem. ]

Focus on me. Keep your thoughts here.

[ his voice is soft, lacking his usual sharpness. nothing condescending or contrite. ]

[shalem, at first, flinches at the hand around his own, but then starts to clutch it like a lifeline. he holds onto leaks with both hands, relying on this stabilizing force as much as he can, even going as far as pressing leaks' palm against his forehead.]

I... apologise. [as he speaks, the projector, finally, mercifully, clicks off, and he starts to breathe easier.

but he's still rattled.]

You are... [he doesn't know what to say, really. but leaks is a stabilizing force for him right now. it's a bit embarrassing just how he can handle shalem.]

Whatever you are... whoever you are. It means less here.

[ his jaw firms when his hand is placed on shalem's forehead. that there's an instinctual desire to pull back, avoid his eyes, and curl up somewhere. opening up to anyone is dangerous. trying to connect with anyone is equally so. yet, between the two of them, it's leaks who feels that he must be the one who stands strong. to keep his feelings isolated and untouched... unseen. ]

Do not apologize. You have no reason to.

[ a gentle hum, as he spots several objects on the floor. ]

Over there. Come on.

No. [he gingerly puts leaks' hand down, and looks at him sorrowfully. like shalem is about to jump him right here and kill him the way he killed those men, and that controlling himself would be an inevitability.

he's killed many members of the derisive audience before. because they were in the way. because they were too far gone to be restored to themselves the way phantom was.]

We are dead-- if people were to die again, who knows what will happen to them?

And yet what I am... I want to kill. [then he places his hand on his chest.] It has ever been a desire bubbling in my chest since I was a youth, and now with a voice whispering in my mind... It's difficult to continue resisting.

[ leaks frowns. he loathes displays of weakness, especially public ones. even as someone who knows that he will have his own, it doesn't make him feel any better watching those familiar to him succumb to them. ]

Then they will be dead. As we are. I do not know how the cycle of life works here nor do I want to experiment with it.

[ yet. ]

You say you wish to kill, that you have been harboring those thoughts. What has prevented you from letting the darkness out in the past?

[ shalem may have rebuffed one of his hands, but with his other one he places it gently on shalem's side. at his waist. ]

[isn't this a bit too intimate? for two people to hold each other in a dimly lit room... it could be the basis of a movie, except they're already in a theatre, and they're not supposed to be canoodling.]

The urge to kill is strong, there's a certain... beauty in death that I want to see over and over. That I should make happen, and reap the rewards of my efforts. [the urge to kill, not just the wish. sometimes, shalem doesn't even know himself. the crimson troupe has so thoroughly ruined him that even to this day he struggles with his own mind.

then the pythia sighs, closing his eyes and gingerly resting his forehead on leaks' shoulder.]

But at the same time I do not want to kill. Under my hands, there would be someone with a dream, a life, a love. Surely a demise at the hands of a sinner, a man who would use them as a sacrifice to his art, is not the fate they're meant to meet.

But these desires... sometimes they refuse to be held back anymore. [then he raises a hand, placing it on leaks' back, moving up... until he's cupping the back of the man's neck, fingers twitching as if he wants to dig them into flesh. they're just proving his point.]

Edited 2022-11-17 08:58 (UTC)

[ whatever intimate is, leaks doesn't know. the meaning is unclear to him. he's doing what he feels is right for the moment and the implications they may have... he doesn't understand. the love and affection he had for someone long ago isn't forgotten, but it doesn't have the same weight. liberated from life and saved by death for not having to reconcile the flood of emotions he would've felt if he stayed alive to face his only friend's son. ]

Then... cling onto stability that you have now, and do not let go.

[ slowly, he wraps his arms around shalem. something pulls at his heart. it's uncomfortable but doesn't feel wrong. to give anyone comfort is an alien sensation, but to give it to someone not from his world acts as some kind of analgesic. something numbing and cool. ]

Be tenacious and strong. If you cannot, then I will be for the both of us.

[ the words leave him before he even has a chance to hold them back. and the presence that has been slinking in the back of leaks' mind, somewhere in the deep darkness, snickers. ]

Nn?!

[everything leaks has said shocks shalem out of his stupour-- he imagines that he would have wrung the man's neck if it wasn't for his words and his arms throwing ice-cold water right into his veins.

shalem looks right into leaks' face, disengaging from the hug in order to do so.]

A soulmate-- you're offering to do that? For me? [he can scarce believe it. pinch him, he's surely dreaming.]

Is it that surprising?

[ his tone is light as he's amused by the reaction. ]

The benefits outweigh the risks. That should be the alone reasoning behind doing it, do you not agree?

[ the consequences aren't as significant. that's how he feels. that he's exposed his insecurities and fears in the past, albeit in a different way. without that limiter, without something curbing his own here? he's at risk of doing stupid things. that's the fact of the matter. ]

You are the first one I met here. You are the first one I have trusted. I believe that is enough.

Soulmates... are unknown to me. People speak so much of the benefits, but surely there are consequences as well. [nothing so good will ever come for free.

too bad no one talks about it. he hasn't even heard of other new restless like himself gaining one so quickly save for that one person on the network asking for advice days ago.]

Linking our hearts and minds... as if it means we can hear each others' thoughts. [then he sighs deeply.] Everything you saw just now, the look on my face-- my faces-- the way I reacted... that is all magnified in my head, all the time. I don't know if anyone can stand that tempest. Are you truly willing to try?

[ it's almost... irritating, that shalem would be trying to warn him of something that he's already committed to. that once this catte decides something, he doesn't back down. he has weighed the pros and cons and has come to a conclusion. why would the one that he proposed to be so... hesitant? tentative?

who is he more worried for? himself or leaks? ]

If you are willing to tolerate me in your headspace, then I will do the same for you.

[ his words may sound harsh, but his tone is anything but that. ]

In the meantime... we should do what we came here to do. Be strong for now.

[ and he gives shalem a very brief squeeze. ]

[shalem breathes out softly in a sigh. perhaps... he'll allow himself to hope for the better, just this once.]

After this... we can do it. [work over personal crises, isn't that what he's done for the past years while alive?

then, in a soft voice as he's unwilling to let leaks go just yet:]

Thank you.

Yes.

[ his heart feels like it gets stuck in his throat, just for a moment. the act of someone thanking him... for perceived kindness...? he can only remember one other time when it's happened. ]

Do not... you do not need to thank me. We are merely reciprocating...

[ a chill runs up his spine and he shivers. ]

... it is a show of trust and confidence.

And having trust placed in me is something to be grateful for, because it's never something to be taken lightly.

[shalem finally pulls away from the embrace, but is unwilling to let go of leaks completely. he takes hold of the man's hand in his own, squeezing briefly, and simply letting both of them be like this, linked.]

I suppose... we really should finish this quickly, so we can go out to our doors soon.

[ fine words to be said, heard by a cat who still doesn't know what he's truly getting into--- but there's no fear. no reason to have any. it doesn't matter how dangerous shalem believes himself to be; confidence allows leaks to weather any storm. if he fails, then it is because of equal or greater efforts. that's all. ]

Yes. Of course.

[ so why not just grab what caught his attention off the floor? a stick with a shiny end that could probably fit into a device. he pulls shalem along with him, using his free hand to scoop it up. ]

Let us see if this is the correct one.

[ and he hands it to shalem. ]

That is... [a flash drive? shalem takes it, confused.] I suppose a movie could be downloaded into this, depending on its capacity... But I admit, I was expecting a disc.

[then he peers at the plug, notes how it looks, and tugs his hand out of leaks' to pull out his phone, plugging the drive into it and swiping to search for the right app.]

It shouldn't take too long to see the title card, unless the opening is quite long. Are you up for the first few minutes of a movie?

A disc? You mean some kind of rounded object...

[ well, he couldn't locate any of those here, and he assumes that whatever the stick he found may have what they're looking for. technology is still foreign to him; he'll just have to hope for the best.

not like it matters too much. if shalem knows how to handle some of these things, leaks is more than happy to let him take the lead. ]

I am. [ a beat, then: ] What... exactly is a movie?

Oh-- [shalem looks back up at his companion from his phone, finger hovering over the "play" button.] You're from a world that doesn't have such things, aren't you?

[this makes this difficult, since shalem will have to be creative in describing such things.]

Think of them as... a play, but the actors and crew are not restricted by just a single stage. They record themselves acting in a setting of their choosing, and move on to the next location, until they've finished their entire script and can release what they've recorded to the public.

An entirely different form of art, and wonderful for how accessible it is.

[with that, he taps the button and leans against leaks' shoulder, so they can watch the screen together. when they get past the credits of who helped make the movie, and in a language shalem can't read, they're greeted by a pair of teenaged girls, having a sleepover, watching baseball on a small tv, talking about a child who recently died, and the urban legend that supposedly killed him. about how a woman on the tv told him he would die after seven days, and so he did.]

No. We have stories passed down through book and speaking. Other artistic mediums are not popular or rarely seen.

[ but he's learning a lot already. hard to not be curious about the advanced technology and try to explore some of it himself. as he watches the movie with shalem, he curls an arm around the other's waist. he leans into him as well, feeling the side of his head touch shalem's. whatever this movie is about, it's particularly grisly, and despite the fact they only need to preview it... see the title, then deliver? they watch the entire thing. ]

... how curious. This tape they watched was a curse itself? Interesting.

[ very fascinating, as he allows his tail to now loosely hang against his future bonded. ]

If I were that spirit, I would have simply killed everyone right away.

Now, now. We don't know this spirit's reasoning for a drawn-out horror. [shalem curls his tail around leaks', feeling brave.

then again, horror doesn't bother him much anymore, when his life could have been a horror movie-- his experiences in the castle could have been one in itself.]

Some of them linger for their own reasons.

[they don't even see either of the girls from the opening die, really. just a cut when things start getting spooky around one of them... and then the main characters change once more.]

Hmm. This movie, perhaps, isn't meant to be that scary?

[ oh, tails touching each other. what a strange sensation? shalem's has no fur but that's not unusual. neither did firi, but there was no incidental or purposeful tail interaction with them. he would've preferred death over being found canoodling with his former subordinate. ]

I suppose you are right, though I believe spirits should... move on when they can.

[ maybe they should sit? they are in a theatre, there's no lack of seats. so he pulls shalem along to the closest row and relaxes in one of them. ]

This is not particularly frightening. Then again, I am not perturbed by those who linger longer on the living plane than needed. Are you?

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