{suddenly, you lose your way and lose the thread.

[terraria]

WHO: Aspen, various
WHERE: Shadowlands, Stygia, and more
WHEN: December
WHAT: Catch-all log (event + general)
WARNINGS: Refer to Aspen's blanket warnings to be safe. Includes nonsexual descriptions of nudity (nude model thread.)

→ harbor

( in this white-out winter, a slender figure steps through the snow with dogged determination. aspen acts like the wind doesn't really bother him, and in a sense, it doesn't - these winters are not unlike the ones he's witnessed in petir. he's missed them - in a sense that he hasn't seen snow for almost two years. he's been so used to rains that he almost forgot that most places got snow instead of flooding. while most seem to be bundled up and bustling, aspen enjoys the snowflakes dancing in the air and some that stick to his cheeks and lashes. that, however, doesn't mean he doesn't take notice when some people are freezing their tails off.

as he unlocks the side entrance to his still-remodeling shop, he calls - )

If you're cold, you can come in here for a reprieve.

( aspen's expression isn't as cheery as it usually is - even as he rustles and flaps his wings to knock the frost off of his feathers, there's something heavy hanging in the air about him. he pushes his braid out of his coat so it falls over his shoulder like usual, setting down the coat that he'd kept over his clothes. he's traded in pastels for darker blues and blacks, and he heads to the stone counter - opening the side gate so he stands behind the counter and starts taking care of the plants and walls of powders, tonics, and salves he has stashed away. )

What are you doing out here, if I may ask? You're not going to cross the sea, are you? If you get knocked off the ship, who knows if you'll freeze or not at this point - ghk...

( he covers his mouth as he coughs up a few flower petals, his sigh melding with an exhausted wheeze. he shakes his head with disappointment. )

Apologies.

Comments

[damnpire]

[The only things that move are D’s eyes. He sits and watches, transfixed, as Aspen rids the cloth of the medicinal oil. He doesn’t look amazed, or baffled, or fearful, only extremely clinical and studious, like a man watching the working innards of a clock.

When it’s handed back, he gladly takes it for inspection. He runs his fingers gently over the material, curious. Controlling plant fibers…

Then he lifts his eyes again, still holding the handkerchief in his hands. He doesn’t feel seen so much as Aspen simply says something very familiar. Understanding.]

The people on the docks are going to the Shadowlands.

[It has to be the only real direction those with anxious hurry are headed. (Like him? Perhaps without the worry.) It makes sense. Maybe not in the reason why.]

Pieces of who we were are there.

[But saying it now is an understanding something doesn’t bode well for them if that is the case.]

[terraria]

( aspen nods slowly. it makes sense - though he prefers to keep his excursions to the shadowlands short and early. the idea that they're going there for their 'homes', or the like - that, however, makes him purse his lips. )

I don't see how that would be helpful? Ah - or is it sentimentality?

( he tilts his head, thinking out loud. )

People do tend to get sentimental around the end of the year. Celebrations and holidays notwithstanding, I suppose some people would like to visit who they were...

[damnpire]

[Normally, he would have no reason to disagree with this assessment. But something about the feeling... about what Aspen had said before, doesn't sit well with him.]

I think it may be something else.

[The hurry is one thing--the hurry itself--but the anxiety mingled with the rush. Almost as if people are urged by some seed of fear to race as fast as possible to the Shadowlands.]

The feeling you described... I've felt it once, just for a moment. Something must be happening in the Shadowlands.

[terraria]

... happening? In the Shadowlands?

( he does give pause, momentarily stopped mid-step of going back behind the counter. that sounds. concerning. he looks at d sidelong. )

Not me. ... but. I haven't seen Laurent in a while. Do you think... he went there? Not that I - ( he lets out a soft scoff. ) I'm not his keeper, but - if anyone, he seems the type to follow a bad feeling to its root.

Did you feel inclined to go, too?

[damnpire]

[The former question makes his lips thin into a small frown. He mostly leaves Laurent to the man’s own devices (that isn’t his business), but the idea of Aspen not even seeing Laurent…

He thinks about Eddie being missing, about Sakura looking for a friend who is also missing.]

I don’t know. Laurent is foolish sometimes, but he isn’t a stupid man. I think he would take someone with him in case. [Someone who had some brute strength, someone who could be used as fodder if things got bad.] The feeling did make me want to investigate.

When was the last time you saw Laurent?

[terraria]

No, he's not stupid. Prideful at worst.

( he frowns, taking a moment to think. )

I saw him in passing a few weeks ago, now. I don't normally question his whereabouts, but with this cold and the strange feeling... I shudder to think. I know I'm one to talk, but - he's small, and smaller people have a tendency to grow cold easier.

What about you?

[damnpire]

[Hmm. He doesn't try to make Aspen's concern a big deal. It's kind, to think of someone as prickly as Laurent when the hurt is so heavily concealed.]

A while ago. When he told me something I don't think he would tell anyone. He must have been cursed.

[Which... worrisome. But why expect any less in this place. This feeling in maybe just another "curse" of sorts plaguing them.]

I'll see if I find him in the Shadowlands. When I come back, I'll look around for him.

[terraria]

( ah. ... he might know what it is, but out of respect for laurent - he doesn't embellish or ask. still, it makes him a little happy that laurent might have people that will understand where he stands. he nods, then. )

Thank you - I appreciate your help. I'll try to let you know if I find him as well. Hopefully he's alright.

And you are too, I trust? I've been helping Augustine with a medicine, and I think you two are similar - if you need something...

[damnpire]

[Me realizing they both could have pestered Laurent with the phone even if Laurent wouldn’t answer maybe.]

I’m alright.

[Would he say this even if he wasn’t alright? Probably. Much to Aspen’s irritation more than likely.

It’s fine…]

What kind of medicine?

[His brows pinch ever so slightly, but he keeps looking at Aspen.

Slowly, he offers the handkerchief back.]

[terraria]

( aspen's to medieval fantasy to talk on the phone. that's my justification. )

I can't tell you that. It's against a breech of my oath to tell others what medicines someone takes unless it's life-threatening.

( instead, as he takes the handkerchief back: )

Would you like to know my services? In case you have any need of it.

( he can't tell d what augustine is taking, but d can probably figure out if he wants to know. )

[damnpire]

[It doesn’t seem to offend or annoy him when Aspen declines. In fact, it reminds him of Sakura’s honor for patient privacy, and he is quite glad for it.

If they won’t tell him and he acts relatively decently as a person, then he thinks that’s fairly trustworthy.]

Alright. I’m listening.

[terraria]

( he smiles a little. )

During the winter, I have a serum of everlasting warmth due to this bitter cold, taken with tea or water for best effects. It does not cure the chill, but it can make it more manageable. I also have a calming tea, meant for tamping down the bite of ones' Shadow, but it is still undergoing testing for a full effect. Nightbalm tea is a personalized bedtime tea blend that soothes the mind to rid oneself of nightmares - be aware that it requires consistent use to achieve medical stability and full effect.

I have normal winter items - balms to soothe sore cracked skin, beet sugar-salt mixtures to melt snow... and a tumeric-cinnamon honey milk recipe!

That one isn't mine, and it's given for free. One of the neighbors offered it to me.

[damnpire]

[This is quite the apothecary list. He mills it over for a long, silent moment, eyes lowered beneath his lashes.

Then he looks up again. From within the confines of the long cape, he brings out a handful of coins. He didn’t inquire of any price—and who knows, it may be more—but he carefully spills the equivalent of thirty coins on the counter.]

I would like to buy the serum for warmth. [He says this like he is in a shop making a purchase.] And also the last recipe.

[terraria]

( aspen sputters a bit with a gentle laugh. )

I didn't think you'd actually try to buy something, darling. ( he does actually look through the labeled vials and plucks one out. it's long, about the length of d's palm and two fingers thick, with a transparent orange liquid inside. ) You're overpaying though. Even when I intend to be open for actual business, I'd only charge about ten coins for this.

( so he fishes five coins out and pushes the rest back to him. )

You get a discount since I'm not actually running yet. Do you want your drink in a flask or a glass?

[damnpire]

[The coins come back to him, but he doesn’t take them. Instead, he takes the vial and puts it somewhere beneath the cape.

And still doesn’t touch the coins. Will he leave it there? Yes. It is simply how he is, paying the full price without negotiation, or paying more than necessary.

He finds value in other people’s hard work.]

A flask, if you have one.

[terraria]

I do.

( he turns to the shelves behind him. some ingredients are stocked, but most of the shelves house dried flowers, herbs, liquids of varying hues, and differently colored powders. underneath all of that and at aspen's level is a small icebox. he uses a copper shaker to meld a dose of honey, tumeric, cinnamon and a splash of milk together. that concentrated brew is the base for which he adds more milk and begins to heat it up for, whilst tying the recipe on a cord around the flask's neck. )

This'll hold its warmth through the cold for a time.

... you're really going to overpay? ( he hefts a fond sigh. ) I'll take it as a donation...

[damnpire]

Thank you.

[Like with the staff, his eyes lift again and carefully, studiously watch Aspen go about the process. The other things receive a passing glance, but his attention is on what Aspen is making currently more than anything.

As expected, he still doesn't take the money he left on the counter. His job is done here...]

Do you practice botany?

[terraria]

Hmm? ( he blinks at d curiously. ) Of course...? It is part and parcel of a green mage's study to strengthen their magic - the fundamentals, you could say. You can't cast anything without some knowledge in botany.

Granted, I study herbology the most, as my use for flora is largely medicinal. It is but a small corner underneath botany.

[damnpire]

[Hmm. He peers at the flask momentarily, and then he again looks around Aspen's bud of a shop.]

It's commendable. [Maybe more so here when some of the plants are of this world and not familiar.] Healthcare and medicine are more valuable than knowing how to shed blood.

[He glances back at Aspen.]

Do you need anything for your shop?

[terraria]

( ... quiet - )

That's not...

( aspen falters in speech, for once. he sets the flask on the counter and for a few moments, he doesn't seem to move. something unbidden comes up inside of him. )

You're wrong. You end up useless and watch people die when you could've prevented it, had you the strength to fight and kill.

( he looks at d straight in the eye. )

I wish I could. Kill.

[damnpire]

[He looks back, expression not apologetic, or ashamed, or worried he said the wrong thing.]

I know how to kill very well, but there have been many, many people I was never able to save. I watched them die even knowing how to fight.

You should be kinder to yourself. There is a lot of strength in healing and in working with medicine. The people who do live: they can't live a comfortable life without people like you.

[terraria]

( he shakes his head firmly. )

And is that enough? Medicine and healing is good, but what use is it if one can't protect themselves or others?

I'm not standing here hoping to throw this all away, but I recognize the futility of healing when those who wish for healing have already passed. It's not - this isn't more valuable.

[damnpire]

[Again, he watches Aspen, though this time he is quiet for a long handful of moments.]

You may have all the skill in the world to protect yourself and others, but people will die anyway.

[This talk is not a first for D to hear, though. There have been plenty of people to tell him the same thing, plenty of humans. To believe in it so fully, like Aspen. So instead of rehashing the same song and dance for an hour, he asks:]

Who did you lose?

[terraria]

( aspen flinches sharply, staring at d with wide wet eyes as been struck across his delicate face.

and then he scrunches his face up, turning his gaze down and hunching slight shoulders. )

Who didn't I lose.

( he mumbles miserably, at least glad that the cough that follows sounds very shallow. )

My lovers. Myself. My people, my parents. All died to the hands of slavers who wanted my people as property, and would kill anyone who stood in their way. Medicine does not stop an attempt of genocide.

[damnpire]

[He’s quiet again while Aspen speaks. Even if his expression changes little, there is a slightly softness of sympathy to his eyes.

His experience is a bit different. (Barring all the danger on the Frontier.) Slavers didn’t take the kind people he knew. Time did. Time always took them, and no amount of killing power could ever help him stop that.]

Now, before you came here, who did you have left?